I subscribe to "The Voice of the Martyr". A Christian publication that comes to my email. It tells me sometimes what horrendous acts are being done on Christians overseas in other countries where it's not free to practice Christianity. I just think of our youth and how easy it is for them to come to our events at the church. How easy it is to talk about your faith, your fears, express your passions and ambitions here in America. We can decide not to go to church. That baffles me. The extreme difference and what we take for granted every day. We have loving mentors, people who spend countless hours working on lessons for Sunday school. We may sleep in. Or come up with nine other priorities that are more important.
Difference. : A man and his wife are axed because they profess they are Christians in India.
The man loses his life. What is that wife doing in icu thinking? There are homes burned down, all over other countries. Some day its going to get to that point here in America. Some day we won't be able to have the freedom to say I believe. So take every moment and pray for those people who risk their lives and lose them. They are so grateful to be missionaries to send God's word all over. There isn't much time left. So lets learn all we can.
Love
Liz
Friday, October 17, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Homeschooling
The word presents a problem. Immediately our culture today deems kids who are at home, unsocial. Not adept to handle social interaction and pressures of kids today. Hm..I think we've been fandangled. I read an extremely helpful article in Family Circle this month's issue with an inside look to a family that was successfully homeschooled. That being that all three kids had achieved 90 percent or higher on their standardized tests. So that being said the mom also attempts to take her kids to social clubs and cheerleading stuff like that. No problem.
I'm working on deciding whether I would like to homeschool my child. I think first of all I consider whether or not I'm able to do it. The patience thing. Also will I be out of the workforce to long to get myself back in. Nonsense. Those are all silly thoughts. Well they are my thoughts, but when I evaluate the value behind actually spending time with my child in his education, I think that's not a far-fetched idea. Especially if my husband makes it available for us financially to do so.
The other thing I was thinking of was my personal public education. I believe I stopped learning in middle school. I just clammed up and never learned another thing unless it was on my own.
My grades went down and that was too much for me. I couldn't imagine not getting a b. For some reason my male-chauvenist science teacher didn't like me, so I got my first C. After that I just stopped paying attention. Then while everyone in my math class seemed to be feverishly scratching away at their math homework I raised my hand for help and never got any. I wasn't a football player who had a game to play in. If he didn't get a good grade on the test, he wouldn't play. No need for extra tutoring. That didn't help either. How come when I took a test, I could get placed in advanced classes, but when I sat in with the actual teachers, I couldn't figure it out.
When I would come home crying with my math book or my science book, my mom would coax me and tell me it was ok. She told me I just learn differently. Like her. She was left-handed as well. When she explained something to me, I just got it. No pressure, no worries. I was free to learn. And I did. So I was able to complete my assignments and get thru school.
When I reached high school, that was another thing altogether. Whether or not I was pregnant. That truly was the only way to have any friends was to be going to parties to drink, or have sex. I wasn't interested in that, so I hid in the guidance office and typed out scholarship apps for college. I looked forward. It was so awkward for me in high school.
So here's a thought. This comes from this article I read in the Family Circle. Her son was in parochial school and they wanted him to learn about religion as well. He was given detention and withdrawn from school even though he was smart. So they tried homeschooling him as an alternative. Thats how they ended up making the choice ultimately. They teach the kids through unconventional methods, for example they read books they choose to learn about history and literature. That's interesting. Then the oldest learns a new language each year. He picks. Then has pen pals thru those languages to practice. I can't come up with a better way to apply it other than doing it. That's such a great idea.
So maybe we things that don't come natural doesnt' always mean they aren't the best and making a little sacrifice may make all the difference in the world whether our children grow up believing they are ignorant or just can't learn.
Maybe this is one reason why we have low scoring schools and everything because us as parents are dropping the ball. We assume our kids will be well-adjusted and learn the important things they need in class. Well then why do we spend the least amount of time with the things that are most important. Or should be? We pay our teachers and our caretakers of our elderly the least amount in our society. That's just crazy. I say we stand for a change on this. Just think about it. Make a consideration. Whether you decide to homeschool. I'm personally still deciding or whether we should spend more time with our children when they get home .
I'm working on deciding whether I would like to homeschool my child. I think first of all I consider whether or not I'm able to do it. The patience thing. Also will I be out of the workforce to long to get myself back in. Nonsense. Those are all silly thoughts. Well they are my thoughts, but when I evaluate the value behind actually spending time with my child in his education, I think that's not a far-fetched idea. Especially if my husband makes it available for us financially to do so.
The other thing I was thinking of was my personal public education. I believe I stopped learning in middle school. I just clammed up and never learned another thing unless it was on my own.
My grades went down and that was too much for me. I couldn't imagine not getting a b. For some reason my male-chauvenist science teacher didn't like me, so I got my first C. After that I just stopped paying attention. Then while everyone in my math class seemed to be feverishly scratching away at their math homework I raised my hand for help and never got any. I wasn't a football player who had a game to play in. If he didn't get a good grade on the test, he wouldn't play. No need for extra tutoring. That didn't help either. How come when I took a test, I could get placed in advanced classes, but when I sat in with the actual teachers, I couldn't figure it out.
When I would come home crying with my math book or my science book, my mom would coax me and tell me it was ok. She told me I just learn differently. Like her. She was left-handed as well. When she explained something to me, I just got it. No pressure, no worries. I was free to learn. And I did. So I was able to complete my assignments and get thru school.
When I reached high school, that was another thing altogether. Whether or not I was pregnant. That truly was the only way to have any friends was to be going to parties to drink, or have sex. I wasn't interested in that, so I hid in the guidance office and typed out scholarship apps for college. I looked forward. It was so awkward for me in high school.
So here's a thought. This comes from this article I read in the Family Circle. Her son was in parochial school and they wanted him to learn about religion as well. He was given detention and withdrawn from school even though he was smart. So they tried homeschooling him as an alternative. Thats how they ended up making the choice ultimately. They teach the kids through unconventional methods, for example they read books they choose to learn about history and literature. That's interesting. Then the oldest learns a new language each year. He picks. Then has pen pals thru those languages to practice. I can't come up with a better way to apply it other than doing it. That's such a great idea.
So maybe we things that don't come natural doesnt' always mean they aren't the best and making a little sacrifice may make all the difference in the world whether our children grow up believing they are ignorant or just can't learn.
Maybe this is one reason why we have low scoring schools and everything because us as parents are dropping the ball. We assume our kids will be well-adjusted and learn the important things they need in class. Well then why do we spend the least amount of time with the things that are most important. Or should be? We pay our teachers and our caretakers of our elderly the least amount in our society. That's just crazy. I say we stand for a change on this. Just think about it. Make a consideration. Whether you decide to homeschool. I'm personally still deciding or whether we should spend more time with our children when they get home .
Friday, September 12, 2008
And another thing..Barack Obama
Since I"m talking about McCain and Sarah Palin obviously I would like to point out that I have yet to see on YaHoo at the top of their main news, any interviews blatantly charging forward on Joe Biden. Does he not exist as well? Or does he get a sweeping invitation VIP pass to go forward and be coddled by the media. Yep that's what it is. I would have to search to find anythign on him. Also I was happy to see that Barack Obama went on O'Reily the other night. I was looking forward to hearing some real points and observations and beliefs come from that. All I ended up getting was a waiting. Waiting for him to say something. I'm still waiting to hear any specifics. I am just not sure what he's for. If someone has info on this where he isn't generalizing or saying he is for Change. WHAT CHANGE? What reform? This is politics and I understand that is the general sense of what we get. But I got specifics on Sarah Palin in her speeches. She talks about selling the jet when she became governor. She talks about getting rid of the chef. These are specific things that elude to her actions. What will Obama do in certain situations? I know he is for Universal Healthcare. That sounds beautiful an all. But how will that happen?
Who else has Universal Healthcare? Oh yeah Canada. Hmm. I'd like to hear from people from there how wonderful their system works. Specifically I've looked up and watched some things on that where you have to wait a very long time to get served.
Less government is better. We've seen this. Why doesn't this make sense to everyone. Just because it's not popular opinion doesn't mean it's not the right way.
Who else has Universal Healthcare? Oh yeah Canada. Hmm. I'd like to hear from people from there how wonderful their system works. Specifically I've looked up and watched some things on that where you have to wait a very long time to get served.
Less government is better. We've seen this. Why doesn't this make sense to everyone. Just because it's not popular opinion doesn't mean it's not the right way.
Sarah Palin Interviewed by Charlie Gibson Response
So. I've been watching the latest interviews with Sarah Palin being given by Charlie Gibson.
You know I'm all about an objective viewpoint in news and getting all sides an opportunity.
This blatant interview is so frustratingly attacking. It's not an interview. He doesn't listen.
I listen. If you interview someone usually you have a question following something specifically they said. He was listening for key words that he already planned ahead in his head to follow on.
For example. The part where she is speaking in her own church about her son going overseas. I wanted to cry because my little brother is over there right now.
Anyway she said it was a task from God. He took that and ran with it saying in his head that he thinks she is going to take the whole country and FORCE GOD DOWN THEIR NECKS. No seperation between church and state. ON the View today this was brought up as well.
They both very eloquently say God is a part of them. He is inside their spirit. That is how we believe. It doesn't mean they won't consider other options or viewpoints when they are taking people into consideration. They want to do what is best for the country based on their viewpoint.
So why isn't that allowed? It seems as tho if you believe in God and are open about it, that you shouldn't be allowed to serve the country? This is the theme that keeps resurfacing. It doesn't make sense to me.
Our founding fathers based the constitution on their beliefs. We say Under God. In God we trust. Are all those not allowed because they are offensive? I dont' get it.
Oh well. At least these interviews show us how strong she is when people do come at her. She can obviously handle herself. If it were me, honestly I would probably get a quiver in my lip. She shows no weakness as far at that goes. So at the end of the day interviews like these should make me happy not irritated. I just wish the media would ask questions and then move on . Not batter people with questions.
You know I'm all about an objective viewpoint in news and getting all sides an opportunity.
This blatant interview is so frustratingly attacking. It's not an interview. He doesn't listen.
I listen. If you interview someone usually you have a question following something specifically they said. He was listening for key words that he already planned ahead in his head to follow on.
For example. The part where she is speaking in her own church about her son going overseas. I wanted to cry because my little brother is over there right now.
Anyway she said it was a task from God. He took that and ran with it saying in his head that he thinks she is going to take the whole country and FORCE GOD DOWN THEIR NECKS. No seperation between church and state. ON the View today this was brought up as well.
They both very eloquently say God is a part of them. He is inside their spirit. That is how we believe. It doesn't mean they won't consider other options or viewpoints when they are taking people into consideration. They want to do what is best for the country based on their viewpoint.
So why isn't that allowed? It seems as tho if you believe in God and are open about it, that you shouldn't be allowed to serve the country? This is the theme that keeps resurfacing. It doesn't make sense to me.
Our founding fathers based the constitution on their beliefs. We say Under God. In God we trust. Are all those not allowed because they are offensive? I dont' get it.
Oh well. At least these interviews show us how strong she is when people do come at her. She can obviously handle herself. If it were me, honestly I would probably get a quiver in my lip. She shows no weakness as far at that goes. So at the end of the day interviews like these should make me happy not irritated. I just wish the media would ask questions and then move on . Not batter people with questions.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
God's Holy Fire
I see such a fire for our Savior. Just creeping out everywhere. THe song ALL GOD"S CHILDREN SINGING GLORy GLORY Hallelujah he reigns. That is the theme song of our day.
You may not see it on the news. Do you feel it with your friends? It seems as though people are coming back from places I thought I'd lost them to. A person very close to me tonight shared with me that she is free. This is it. You have the power to Unlock the kingdom of heaven here on earth. It's there for you. The bible shows you. Take it. Hold it. Unlock peace in your heart, your mind.
Enjoy being God's children here on earth! Don't wait for him to take us to heaven. Share his message. Give people a smile. Don't worry about figuring everything out. Jesus showed love. By showing it in his actions. Do it now!
You may not see it on the news. Do you feel it with your friends? It seems as though people are coming back from places I thought I'd lost them to. A person very close to me tonight shared with me that she is free. This is it. You have the power to Unlock the kingdom of heaven here on earth. It's there for you. The bible shows you. Take it. Hold it. Unlock peace in your heart, your mind.
Enjoy being God's children here on earth! Don't wait for him to take us to heaven. Share his message. Give people a smile. Don't worry about figuring everything out. Jesus showed love. By showing it in his actions. Do it now!
Sarah Palin ROCKS!
Just wanted to put that out there for anyone who wasn't sure about my opinion about the latest nominee for Mccain's VP. I'm pumped ladies. Speaking for moms everywhere, Sarah Palin is the epidemy of everything a mom who is intelligent should stand for. A woman who is humble but knows when to stand up. She isn't arrogant. She is gracious and intelligent. When I heard her speak in her opening speech, she gave me chills. I got a forward the other day that was asking for prayer for her and her church. Apparently she went before her church before the announcement she would be the VP, and asked them to pray over her and her family. I think that is truly great. I relate to her because I can see common sense. She sees a problem and fixes it. She doesn't add a bunch of bologna in the middle. I love it. I don't care. I"m just gushing with happiness because you can't say anything bad about her to me. Hahahahaha. I'm just so full of glee. haha.
I especially enjoy this verse below. It just shows why I could feel my holy spirit when she spoke.
I especially enjoy this verse below. It just shows why I could feel my holy spirit when she spoke.
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Saturday, August 9, 2008
ZZZZZZZZZAppp
I just have to say tonight would have been reality show gold. It was hilarious. I started out the day getting my hair highlighted. The hairdresser asked me have anything big up today? What kind of question is that for a stay at home mom? Well lets see. Do you really want to know? I'm going to have snack time at 9:30. Spend time reading books we got. Practicing writing our ABCs. And then it's on to lunch of figuring out what he'll eat. Will it be mashed carrots? Or quesadillas? Or will I get an Eww at the end of this sweaty canvas of lunchmaking. Seriously. That's how it feels sometimes.
But I didn't say any of that. I just told him. No. Just spending time with my son. My life is great.
Such a blessing. So we took a nap went to church. Hung out with my mother'inlaw. Good times.
Come home. About 9:30 p.m. doorbell rings. What the heck? We never get visitors this late. My next door neighbor is telling us something is wrong in our backyard. What could it be?
The power line was one fire! That's right. The power line was on fire!
So I asked my husband oh so eloquently. What should we do?
He responds....CALL 9-1-1.
The numbers that elude us anytime we actually need it.
Did you notice that? When he proposed tome ..I mean my husband, I watched countless proposal stories. When the time came, I knew I would be oh so suave. NO I WASN"T. I went Oh MY GOD<> WOW>
So here I am. I run in. Stumble aroudn for my phone. Thinking if I should get my son and hold him for dear life. I have the window open as we speak. Just checking now and then. GRRRR. I didn't ask the guy if there was something we need worry about til they can get to it on MONDAY.
So I call 9-1-1..It rings. Rings....I say. Hi Liz at my address....Then I say there is a small fire on the powerline behind our house. ABout 2 inches in diameter. Is that even right????
Haha. So he says the fire department are on their way. WOOT WOOT> They are about 40 seconds literally away from us.
So there they are. So exciting. I was hardly able to contain myself. What a big end to my day.
This burly headed guy comes up to me and they are all surveying the fire as it plumes and enjoys itself up there on the line.
I say what will you do. He says...well we're going to spray it. I say isnt' that dangerous. He says yes well we'll use a FOG stream. That way not a direct line of water.
I was like oooh a fog stream. this is complicated stuff. I said be careful! Thank you for your service.
So they sprayed it. It went out. Sheesh.
Then our electric company came out. This dude was awesome. I was so laughing at him. He was a comedian for sure.
So he comes up on the scene. We directed him. He started his flashlight. It being dark and all.
He isn't saying anything so I'm offering all my knowledge. So the fire department came. They sprayed a fog stream.
He says...They sprayed A WHAT??
I said they sprayed a fog stream.
He says. THe fire department is stupid.
Haha. That's just dangerous. I said Yes they said that. Haha.
So he found the culprit. Apparently you aren't supposed to let trees grow around the powerlines. Go Figure.
He said their company takes care of that though. Silly.
My husband just said hey I'm watching the Olympics in here by myself. You're the one who said you wanted to watch them together. I just had to write this though so there.
Anyway...So it all started with a tree limb. Be careful. If you notice your branches growing into your powerlines, go ahead and call your electric department.
Then the guy tells us and I think thsi is very valuable info.
That a local guy and his son died b/c they attempted to get a burning tree limb off the powerline as it was burning with a 2 X 4. This si wood. And that is just as much as a conducter. So if that happens just call the fire departmetn. Dont' try to do it yourself.
But I didn't say any of that. I just told him. No. Just spending time with my son. My life is great.
Such a blessing. So we took a nap went to church. Hung out with my mother'inlaw. Good times.
Come home. About 9:30 p.m. doorbell rings. What the heck? We never get visitors this late. My next door neighbor is telling us something is wrong in our backyard. What could it be?
The power line was one fire! That's right. The power line was on fire!
So I asked my husband oh so eloquently. What should we do?
He responds....CALL 9-1-1.
The numbers that elude us anytime we actually need it.
Did you notice that? When he proposed tome ..I mean my husband, I watched countless proposal stories. When the time came, I knew I would be oh so suave. NO I WASN"T. I went Oh MY GOD<> WOW>
So here I am. I run in. Stumble aroudn for my phone. Thinking if I should get my son and hold him for dear life. I have the window open as we speak. Just checking now and then. GRRRR. I didn't ask the guy if there was something we need worry about til they can get to it on MONDAY.
So I call 9-1-1..It rings. Rings....I say. Hi Liz at my address....Then I say there is a small fire on the powerline behind our house. ABout 2 inches in diameter. Is that even right????
Haha. So he says the fire department are on their way. WOOT WOOT> They are about 40 seconds literally away from us.
So there they are. So exciting. I was hardly able to contain myself. What a big end to my day.
This burly headed guy comes up to me and they are all surveying the fire as it plumes and enjoys itself up there on the line.
I say what will you do. He says...well we're going to spray it. I say isnt' that dangerous. He says yes well we'll use a FOG stream. That way not a direct line of water.
I was like oooh a fog stream. this is complicated stuff. I said be careful! Thank you for your service.
So they sprayed it. It went out. Sheesh.
Then our electric company came out. This dude was awesome. I was so laughing at him. He was a comedian for sure.
So he comes up on the scene. We directed him. He started his flashlight. It being dark and all.
He isn't saying anything so I'm offering all my knowledge. So the fire department came. They sprayed a fog stream.
He says...They sprayed A WHAT??
I said they sprayed a fog stream.
He says. THe fire department is stupid.
Haha. That's just dangerous. I said Yes they said that. Haha.
So he found the culprit. Apparently you aren't supposed to let trees grow around the powerlines. Go Figure.
He said their company takes care of that though. Silly.
My husband just said hey I'm watching the Olympics in here by myself. You're the one who said you wanted to watch them together. I just had to write this though so there.
Anyway...So it all started with a tree limb. Be careful. If you notice your branches growing into your powerlines, go ahead and call your electric department.
Then the guy tells us and I think thsi is very valuable info.
That a local guy and his son died b/c they attempted to get a burning tree limb off the powerline as it was burning with a 2 X 4. This si wood. And that is just as much as a conducter. So if that happens just call the fire departmetn. Dont' try to do it yourself.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Bible: A Kids Perspective
I got this from a forward thru email. Author-Unknown
Through the eyes of a child:
Through the eyes of a child:
The Children's Bible in a Nutshell
In the beginning, which occurred near the start,
there was Nothing but God, darkness, and some gas.
The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think
He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked,
But they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been
Invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad
Apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.
Not sure what they were driven in though,
because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long
As he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah,
who lived To be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy,
But one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a
Large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked
Some other people to join him, but they said they would
Have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more
Famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his
Birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son
Named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was
Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt
And away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on
Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice,
Bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.
Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments.
These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your
Neighbor's' stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more:
Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first
Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol
and The fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a
Giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had
About 300 wives and 500 porcupines.
My teacher says he was wise,
But that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.
One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale
and then Barfed up on the shore. There were also some
minor league Prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry
about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament.
Jesus is the Star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.
(I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always
saying To me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?'
It would Be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like
The Pharisees and the Republicans.
Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus.
Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even
Preached to some Germans on the Mount.
But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before
Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed
Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed
his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.
He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the
Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
A Bright-mare
It's pretty sad when a Dream has to WAKE ME UP!
How many of us woman blame everything else but ourselves?
If you look at a happy newly engaged couple, they are vibrant, cuddly, in each others faces. It's kind of enough to make us puke. But remember we were there once too. How long does it take for those initial lust endorphines to fade away?
This is what I'm talking about ladies. The minute that ends, it's up to us to keep our minds in the right places. I have veered. I began to believe I wasn't good enough, stopped getting my hair done. Stopped working out. Stopped looking at my husband the way I used to. Why? Because he was mean to me? No I had no excuses but my own. I hate my excuses. They are so easy to get wrapped up in to focus on instead of the truth.
I was impatient, mean, hateful, and what for? Why did my husband seem so far away? Not because of him, because I was pushing him away with my insecurities that I built up for myself.
When do you stop flirting? Never. Keep that going. Keep taking care of yourself. It's important for your well-being and for your family. A happy mom makes a happy home. I forgot how good it feels when you get home from a workout and you're red-faced. I sleep a lot less and get a lot more work done.
This is tough. It's hard to say, that's me. I did this. I realized all of this because I had a dream last night. It probably started where my insecurities were peaked in my life. Middle school was the scene. Actually I believe it was a reunion that had everyone from middle school but we were grown up.
So there I was spending all my energy on trying to find the friends I thought I had, when all along I never had any real friends. This is my dream, not in real life so if any of my real friends today, this isn't pertaining to you. But you know how you spend so much energy on yourself and not really developing friendships? And wondering why you aren't having a group around you? Well this was the situation.
Well the entire time my husband was playing around with his old friends. I came up to him lonely and defeated at the end of the reunion. He was happy as a lark. And there was a girl there. A beautiful girl. She asked me who I was and why was I sitting next to my husband. I said because we're married. She looked at me disgusted and said well you haven't been with him the entire night. I was so mad at her for saying that but this is true.
For my life. How many days do we spend getting ourselves in shape, picking out the perfect wedding dress, writing love notes, taking care of everything for sometimes years planning one day. Our wedding day for the one we love. Then when the marriage comes, what do we do? Does that energy go away? Just ask yourself that question.
So here I am back in my dream focused on this gorgeous girl. Jealousy sets in. I make sure and flirt with my husband. It doesnt' matter. He is already lured in my the jezebel. I know it and in a way its my fault. I still get caught up in my dream evening trying to figure out why all my friends left me sittign by myself. I was caught up in myself and in my head. Therefore I'm left alone. Makes sense to anyone watching. But not me. While I'm caught up in my head, my husband and the jezebel leave at some point. She had noticed my distraction and took him away.
I went searching for him in my dream and found them making out. Then I grabbed the jezebel and tried to enforce violence. Why does that happen? Even if that happens in real life, we never look at the guy? I guess because we understand the intentions of the woman. We look at her as she ruined our lives. But did she? Was that her fault? My husband in my dream would never do that in real life. But that is my insecurity. That is my real life fear. That someday I will push him away enough where he starts opening his mind and entertaining the thought of a loving woman who will appreciate him. Why not?
This made me very angry and very frustrated. I know its just a dream, but I'm thankful for it. It gave me the motivation I needed sadly to start back to getting back to finding me and enjoying my loving husband and family and lot more than I do. I am done whining. At least I'm going to make an attempt at it.
How many of us woman blame everything else but ourselves?
If you look at a happy newly engaged couple, they are vibrant, cuddly, in each others faces. It's kind of enough to make us puke. But remember we were there once too. How long does it take for those initial lust endorphines to fade away?
This is what I'm talking about ladies. The minute that ends, it's up to us to keep our minds in the right places. I have veered. I began to believe I wasn't good enough, stopped getting my hair done. Stopped working out. Stopped looking at my husband the way I used to. Why? Because he was mean to me? No I had no excuses but my own. I hate my excuses. They are so easy to get wrapped up in to focus on instead of the truth.
I was impatient, mean, hateful, and what for? Why did my husband seem so far away? Not because of him, because I was pushing him away with my insecurities that I built up for myself.
When do you stop flirting? Never. Keep that going. Keep taking care of yourself. It's important for your well-being and for your family. A happy mom makes a happy home. I forgot how good it feels when you get home from a workout and you're red-faced. I sleep a lot less and get a lot more work done.
This is tough. It's hard to say, that's me. I did this. I realized all of this because I had a dream last night. It probably started where my insecurities were peaked in my life. Middle school was the scene. Actually I believe it was a reunion that had everyone from middle school but we were grown up.
So there I was spending all my energy on trying to find the friends I thought I had, when all along I never had any real friends. This is my dream, not in real life so if any of my real friends today, this isn't pertaining to you. But you know how you spend so much energy on yourself and not really developing friendships? And wondering why you aren't having a group around you? Well this was the situation.
Well the entire time my husband was playing around with his old friends. I came up to him lonely and defeated at the end of the reunion. He was happy as a lark. And there was a girl there. A beautiful girl. She asked me who I was and why was I sitting next to my husband. I said because we're married. She looked at me disgusted and said well you haven't been with him the entire night. I was so mad at her for saying that but this is true.
For my life. How many days do we spend getting ourselves in shape, picking out the perfect wedding dress, writing love notes, taking care of everything for sometimes years planning one day. Our wedding day for the one we love. Then when the marriage comes, what do we do? Does that energy go away? Just ask yourself that question.
So here I am back in my dream focused on this gorgeous girl. Jealousy sets in. I make sure and flirt with my husband. It doesnt' matter. He is already lured in my the jezebel. I know it and in a way its my fault. I still get caught up in my dream evening trying to figure out why all my friends left me sittign by myself. I was caught up in myself and in my head. Therefore I'm left alone. Makes sense to anyone watching. But not me. While I'm caught up in my head, my husband and the jezebel leave at some point. She had noticed my distraction and took him away.
I went searching for him in my dream and found them making out. Then I grabbed the jezebel and tried to enforce violence. Why does that happen? Even if that happens in real life, we never look at the guy? I guess because we understand the intentions of the woman. We look at her as she ruined our lives. But did she? Was that her fault? My husband in my dream would never do that in real life. But that is my insecurity. That is my real life fear. That someday I will push him away enough where he starts opening his mind and entertaining the thought of a loving woman who will appreciate him. Why not?
This made me very angry and very frustrated. I know its just a dream, but I'm thankful for it. It gave me the motivation I needed sadly to start back to getting back to finding me and enjoying my loving husband and family and lot more than I do. I am done whining. At least I'm going to make an attempt at it.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
We're Winning
*From an AP article read earlier this evening*
In Baghdad, parks are filled every weekend with families playing and picnicking with their children. That was unthinkable only a year ago, when the first, barely visible signs of a turnaround emerged.
This is amazing! This is why we went over there I believe. To give those people a chance for a new chance at life. My little brother is over there and he tells me this stuff all the time. We never hear it in the news. So this was like a new tiny piece of grass growing in a dusty vast plain. YEAH!
In Baghdad, parks are filled every weekend with families playing and picnicking with their children. That was unthinkable only a year ago, when the first, barely visible signs of a turnaround emerged.
This is amazing! This is why we went over there I believe. To give those people a chance for a new chance at life. My little brother is over there and he tells me this stuff all the time. We never hear it in the news. So this was like a new tiny piece of grass growing in a dusty vast plain. YEAH!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Legally BLonde
So i spent my evening watching youtube stuff on Legally Blonde on Broadway stuff. My old camp freind that was my penpal for years, ended up being best friends with Laura Bundy, the first Legally blonde girl to go on Broadway.
That six degrees of seperation thing really works. It's hilarious to me at times. Anyway if we all sat around and talked about who we knew, we'd end up with someone famous. That means no one is greater. We all need friends no matter where are status in life is.
It's funny that I used to deem status as important. Then I found out sooner than later, Thank my Lord, that just believing that Jesus died for me, was all I needed ..That was a real humbling experience. It sucks tho. I want to be famous.
I want to sing on Broadway. But that is past me now. You know Barlow Girl lead singer wanted to be on Broadway and her sisters and her all had different plans until they found Jesus.
Then they knew they had to sing for him. Now they are famous in our context of famous. But so humble.
This is the balance I must find. I'm young, naive, and irritated. I'm saying what some people think. Maybe just me.
Anyway that's what I spent the evening doing. It's fun. My son is sleeping and my DH is playing video games on the WII. haha.
That six degrees of seperation thing really works. It's hilarious to me at times. Anyway if we all sat around and talked about who we knew, we'd end up with someone famous. That means no one is greater. We all need friends no matter where are status in life is.
It's funny that I used to deem status as important. Then I found out sooner than later, Thank my Lord, that just believing that Jesus died for me, was all I needed ..That was a real humbling experience. It sucks tho. I want to be famous.
I want to sing on Broadway. But that is past me now. You know Barlow Girl lead singer wanted to be on Broadway and her sisters and her all had different plans until they found Jesus.
Then they knew they had to sing for him. Now they are famous in our context of famous. But so humble.
This is the balance I must find. I'm young, naive, and irritated. I'm saying what some people think. Maybe just me.
Anyway that's what I spent the evening doing. It's fun. My son is sleeping and my DH is playing video games on the WII. haha.
Daycare
A provide who cares during the day for our children. Ask yourself. Will this provider change a poopie diaper as soon as it happens? Or on schedule every two hours because they have five other kids to change before yours. Does your child get held when he cries, or screams? What does provide mean? What do we want our children to know. Are they too young to realize what is happening to them?
When I was on my slam forward life in college getting my degree, pursuing all my high-anxiety dreams, my now husband came along like a smack in the face. It felt like that those long nights talking over coffee in Denny's. I shed so many tears, more like layers, of my cultured life.
I was telling him in my head he was a male chauvanist pig. Where did he get off telling me I would stay at home if we were to have children. What about my career? Did it not matter who I was?
He explained if you can, wouldn't you want to share in all these new things that your little baby is doing? Wouldn't you want to be there to take care of them when they are sick. Be ok to stay up with them through the night?
So here I am. Three years later, married, with an almost 2 year old son. I'm at home with him. It's been an amazing ride. Not easy, but easy at the same time.
I was validated in my choice to stay home with him this week. I was asked to volunteer at a daycare during a major transition period. Most of the workers left including the director. Scary!
For me as a parent it would be scary if my child was attending because the caretaker my young child has known since he's been born in some cases, is gone.
So here I am a stay at home mom in a daycare. Weird.
But I loved them just like my own. I gave them hugs. I held them. You can't hold your kids enough please believe. Don't listen to the ridiculous advice that you can hold your child too much. I was actually told at one point, I needed to put a screaming child down with their blanket. Because the parent requested them not be held. Why?
I will do the job according to what I know as a parent. I will love.
Thank God I don't have to do this every day. Kudos to those providers that care for our children.
When we cannot.
When I was on my slam forward life in college getting my degree, pursuing all my high-anxiety dreams, my now husband came along like a smack in the face. It felt like that those long nights talking over coffee in Denny's. I shed so many tears, more like layers, of my cultured life.
I was telling him in my head he was a male chauvanist pig. Where did he get off telling me I would stay at home if we were to have children. What about my career? Did it not matter who I was?
He explained if you can, wouldn't you want to share in all these new things that your little baby is doing? Wouldn't you want to be there to take care of them when they are sick. Be ok to stay up with them through the night?
So here I am. Three years later, married, with an almost 2 year old son. I'm at home with him. It's been an amazing ride. Not easy, but easy at the same time.
I was validated in my choice to stay home with him this week. I was asked to volunteer at a daycare during a major transition period. Most of the workers left including the director. Scary!
For me as a parent it would be scary if my child was attending because the caretaker my young child has known since he's been born in some cases, is gone.
So here I am a stay at home mom in a daycare. Weird.
But I loved them just like my own. I gave them hugs. I held them. You can't hold your kids enough please believe. Don't listen to the ridiculous advice that you can hold your child too much. I was actually told at one point, I needed to put a screaming child down with their blanket. Because the parent requested them not be held. Why?
I will do the job according to what I know as a parent. I will love.
Thank God I don't have to do this every day. Kudos to those providers that care for our children.
When we cannot.
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