Friday, November 16, 2007

Unspoken by Francine Rivers: A Book Review

Yet another wonderful story out of the bible taken in her own by Francine Rivers. We are doing a bible study with the women in our church on this series and it truly has opened the eyes of many women. These books give you an insight into women of the bible that you may not have seen just by reading it on your own. In this account, a woman named Bathsheba is depicted in Unspoken. I really enjoyed this read because you see how a woman who starts a love affair before she comes of age and follows her dreams instead of what God wants for her. Its almost as if she forces what she wants and pays the consequences. But her beauty is what gets her to places. Its very ironic in many ways how this story turns. We can find ourselves in today's society very closely relating to this woman. How many times have you wanted to lure some man that was ungettable with something you shouldn't?

Unashame by Francine Rivers: A Book Review

This whole series by Francine Rivers is an amazing look into the stories of the bible. It's almost like a Harlequin Novel or Veggie Tale if you're familiar for the bible. Sometimes its hard for us to find time to read the bible or we get lost in it. Well this is a refreshing way to get glimpses into certain stories. Rivers depicts the story of Rahab, a prostitute in Israel who has been taken in by the king. She has her pick of any royalties she likes. Something deep inside Rahab tells her that Jesus is the way and she clings to that. We get to see how someone who has never heard any of the stories of the bible has blind faith. That God chooses his people no matter what path you have chosen for yourself. He has faith that you will find your way to him. Amazing!

Personal Accountability

I'm sick and tired of hearing our culture being such victims!! Why can't we just take responsibility for our actions. Whether it be in politics or parenting. Please people. Give me a break. In that previous post, the article finished that the parents of the young girl were getting a divorce. Also it said that they were working on something to keep people from being mean.

Basically coming up with a law that would prosecute someone who was harrassing another person online. Not the parents fault at all in this case, huh? So ANNOYING!!!

I'm a parent. A young parent mind you. So I don't have the experience of working with teens on a parental level, but I am a youth director and see this crap every day. The difference is I see what the kids tell me that they don't tell their parents. So I understand what is going through their minds. Its very simple. They want a peaceful environment. With LOVE!!!

So the next time you feel like arguing, stop. Don't do it in front of the children. They feel it. Hard!!

Anytime Eric and I begin to get frustrated about anything, I notice our baby starts crying. We stop. We made the agreement we would never argue in front of him. This is a hard thing to do but you have to!

We are so selfish anymore that we totally ignore the fact that our children come first. They do. We must make every effort to do this. Make them feel special. Show them you care with spending time with them.

I feel like being a stay at home mom is the first way I can do this in my baby's life. That was a choice Eric and I made when we were dating. So we made it happen. Its totally i our control how we want to live our lives. Not the government.

We don't wait for them to give us social security. Who cares? The system sucks anyway. We save our money. So we're ok when we grow old. Don't count on your children taking care of you or some nursing home. Save your money and research and find what you want to do with your care.

Personal Accountability people. Look it up. And start living that way today.

Whose Fault is it?

Ok read this article. There is a hint in there that it might be myspace's fault for the reason for this girls death. Or at least they made an attempt to get a comment from the owner of myspace. Why? Not neccessary.

This is the story of a girl who put all her heart into an idea. A fake reality she made her life. Why did she seek condolence and love from a person she didn't even know in person? This is a serious problem in today's society. We must stop being our children's friends and start being their parents.

We have control over what they do as far as we can monitor them. I remember when I was a teen I couldn't or didn' t have internet so I went to my freinds house. I started up a relationship online with a 30 year old man when I was 15. He flattered me and told me I was smart. You know what? I enjoyed it because I didn't have a father telling me that in person. Of course my instincts kept it very open and I never told him anything personal. But what if I had?

What if I didn't have the constant love of my mother who was single with three children? She always told me she was there for me. And she showed it in her actions.

Please lets start keeping tabs on our children and not underestimate what manipulators out there can do. Don't try to put the blame on someone else. Its our fault. We stopped being parents. If a child is under the age of 14, NO MYSPACE! You can block what they do online. I'm sorry but you can!!!

If they do it at their friends house. Go online and check and see if they have one. They are naive. Tell them there are dangerous people out there. Tell them about sex and what guys want. They only want love and they will get it however its received.


By BETSY TAYLOR, Associated Press Writer 8 minutes ago

DARDENNE PRAIRIE, Mo. - Megan Meier thought she had made a new friend in cyberspace when a cute teenage boy named Josh contacted her on MySpace and began exchanging messages with her. Megan, a 13-year-old who suffered from depression and attention deficit disorder, corresponded with Josh for more than a month before he abruptly ended their friendship, telling her he had heard she was cruel.

The next day Megan committed suicide. Her family learned later that Josh never actually existed; he was created by members of a neighborhood family that included a former friend of Megan's.

Now Megan's parents hope the people who made the fraudulent profile on the social networking Web site will be prosecuted, and they are seeking legal changes to safeguard children on the Internet.

The girl's mother, Tina Meier, said she doesn't think anyone involved intended for her daughter to kill herself.

"But when adults are involved and continue to screw with a 13-year-old, with or without mental problems, it is absolutely vile," she told the Suburban Journals of Greater St. Louis, which first reported on the case.

Tina Meier said law enforcement officials told her the case did not fit into any law. But sheriff's officials have not closed the case and pledged to consider new evidence if it emerges.

Megan Meier hanged herself in her bedroom on Oct. 16, 2006, and died the next day. She was described as a "bubbly, goofy" girl who loved hanging out with her friends, watching movies and fishing with her dad.

Megan had been on medication, but had been upbeat before her death, her mother said, after striking up a relationship on MySpace with Josh Evans about six weeks before her death.

Josh told her he was born in Florida and had recently moved to the nearby community of O'Fallon. He said he was homeschooled, and didn't yet have a phone number in the area to give her.

Megan's parents said she received a message from him on Oct. 15 of last year, essentially saying he didn't want to be her friend anymore, that he had heard she wasn't nice to her friends.

The next day, as Megan's mother headed out the door to take another daughter to the orthodontist, she knew Megan was upset about Internet messages. She asked Megan to log off. Users on MySpace must be at least 14, though Megan was not when she opened her account. A MySpace spokeswoman did not return calls seeking comment.

Someone using Josh's account was sending cruel messages. Then, Megan called her mother, saying electronic bulletins were being posted about her, saying things like, "Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat."

Megan's mother, who monitored her daughter's online communications, returned home and said she was shocked at the vulgar language her own daughter was sending. She told her daughter how upset she was about it.

Megan ran upstairs, and her father, Ron, tried to tell her everything would be fine. About 20 minutes later, she was found in her bedroom. She died the next day.

Her father said he found a message the next day from Josh, which he said law enforcement authorities have not been able to retrieve. It told the girl she was a bad person and the world would be better without her, he has said.

Another parent, who learned of the MySpace account from her own daughter who had access to the Josh profile, told Megan's parents about the hoax in a counselor's office about six weeks after Megan died. That's when they learned Josh was imaginary, they said.

The woman who created the fake profile has not been charged with a crime. She allegedly told the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department she created Josh's profile because she wanted to gain Megan's confidence to know what Megan was saying about her own child online.

The mother from down the street told police that she, her daughter and another person all typed and monitored the communication between the fictitious boy and Megan.

A person who answered the door at the family's house told an Associated Press reporter on Friday afternoon that they had been advised not to comment.

Megan's parents had been storing a foosball table for the family that created the MySpace character. Six weeks after Megan's death, they learned the other family had created the profile and responded by destroying the foosball table, dumping it on the neighbors' driveway and encouraging them to move away.

Megan's parents are now separated and plan to divorce.

Aldermen in Dardenne Prairie, a community of about 7,000 residents about 35 miles from St. Louis, have proposed a new ordinance related to child endangerment and Internet harassment. It could come before city leaders on Wednesday.

"Is this enough?" Mayor Pam Fogarty said Friday. "No, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it's something, and you have to start somewhere."


People ask me all the time what I think of homosexuality. Is it wrong? Do I hate them? Are they going to hell? All of these comments are made in popular culture. The news portrays people who believe in God and go to church as hypocritical judgemental cruel people. So of course when I say I am a Christian, sometimes I get the cold shoulder. This is ok. I understand we all have pre-judgements in our lives.

My hope here today is to show you what I believe and at least you know one person is like this. In my life, I go to church for the encouragement and love and support I get from it. When I go to my church, I am greeted by elders, my pastor, my co-workers, and our youth. I am a youth leader at my church. It was always that way.

My church gives me a sense of community. If ever my family is struggling and can't pay our bills or if we just need dinners for a week when I had my c-section and couldn't move, the church came through. Where we lack, the church gives.

I get bored being home with the baby so I go to the church and organize and make up lessons for the weekend. We started a praise band and come up with new songs every day.

A few months ago we got a couple that came to our church seeking love. This couple was different from your average people that come into the doors there because they were lesbians. Also they were the new mothers of triplets! We were really excited and confused and unsure. We meaning my husband and I. We weren't sure how they would be received and what our church was going to do. Well so I went up to my pastor because he's like my friend and asked him what he thought about them. He said specifically, "Liz, I'm not the sex police. I don't go into your bedroom and make sure you are doing it right."
They want to know God's love, they are going to get it. Just like you and everyone else that walks through these doors.

It doesn't matter if I believe it is right or wrong. It matters that I believe Jesus died for my sins.
I accept him as my savior. It's not my place to try to figure out what I believe about that.
They are my friends and I love them and I cannot believe what I would have missed had I our church sent them away with judgement. My mom said that's even worse.

See that is the point of Christians today. We are meant to work on ourselves and only ourselves. We are called from there and once you have the Holy Spirit truly working in your heart and soul, things will happen from there and it will all make a lot more sense. It's not up to us to make sure someone else is living right. We must leave that to our Father above. People today are afraid to let go of themselves. They want to be in control of their lives. Guess what? You don't have to.

I love our church because every day I grow as a person. I am held accountable. I had a problem with gossiping and still slip back into it at times and I asked God to help me. Well anytime I would begin to talk about anyone in particular they would walk right up behind me. I wasn't able to get started. Now I learned before I even begin to make any kind of assumption or judgement in my mind, I just start praying for that person. That way I'm absolved of any sinful thought I was just about to have. Its really an amazing trick.

What I meant by the Holy Spirit working on you is that suddenly you start to see God's plan appear for you. What he wants you to do while you are here on earth. For me it is witnessing to people, and also being a prayer warrior. Sometimes with my free time, I'm able to help out different people in the church. We don't have a lot of money right now so all I can do is service.

Thursday, November 15, 2007


Isn't it weird how much we all seem to be on medicine? Do we need it? Want it? Don't know how to live without it? Are all of us constantly on some kind of medicine? What is your medicine?
Street drugs
Fresh Air
Fast Cars
All these are things we use to fill those empty parts that we have gaping. I've tried all of these and still the closest thing I get to being content is praying to God. He is my medicine. Does that sound like a cop out to you? Well it isn't. I really think our society is talked into believing we can't do it for ourselves. I read and have been around friends who constantly struggle with different doctors, different prescriptions that leave side effects. Some they cope with. Are we afraid to just try to live on our own?

I think for some people they are. For me, I had my baby and what you call post-partum depression snuck on me. It was a feeling of suffocation and constant sadness. Deep falling sadness.

My family kept telling me to see a doctor but all that stuff I just wrote up there was saying I didn't need it and not to fall into the trap. So I went to the doctor so they would all shut up and leave me alone and the first thing he asked me was how I felt. I described feeling anxious, not wanting to leave the house, suffocation, not being able to breathe. The basic symptoms of anything that needs medicine to fix it right?

He suggested I take Effexor XR. That is an antidepressant used to treat social anxiety disorder. Among others. Its also extended release so its going to give me a little burst of happy throughout my day. I went ahead and took my complementary candy happy pills and walked away. I figured with the baby with me, I'd better take a drive to my mother's home.

I popped a pill and a few hours later I was staring at the pretty green trees. Yes they were so beautiful. How simple life is. How fragrant and wonderful. I'm not in pain. I don't have an ailment. I can walk. I can breath on my own. I have my own baby that I made with love with my incredible husband who treats me like a queen. Suddenly it all made sense. Now my life was perfect. It really was. I am an amazing strong independent wonderful person. Incredible.

With my new confidence, I was a little embarrassed. I had dismissed my previous feelings of dismay to just some PMS and misguided hormones. The medicine was helping me get to the place I needed to be. Not completely negative. I was eeyore walking around hopeless. Now I can enjoy my baby and not being yelling for no reason at my husband who doesn't deserve it.

I was also mad at myself for telling my depressed friend in college that she didn't need medicine. We could work through her dad's death and her feelings of sadness by talking. Maybe sometimes medicine works. Maybe sometimes it doesn't. Maybe there isn't always an excuse for your behavior and you need to hold yourself accountable for it. At least thats' what I decided to do.

So after four months on the medicine I decided to get off of it. The doctor suggested that amount of time for my hormones to regulate back.

It was very hard to get off the medicine. I felt really loopy and that my brain had lightning flashes. Very weird. Also I got some nausea and was just irritated a lot. But after about a week of that, I was myself again. I felt like myself before I was pregnant. It was really refreshing. Like I woke up from a dream.

It's been about five months since I've been off the medicine and once in awhile I'll have a couple drinks. But that's about it as far as medicine goes. I did start feeling that anxiety again the other day. When I get like that I'm usually by myself and kind of go into this zone that no one would like me in so I don't call anyone. That should be what I do, but I don't. I rationalize why no one would want to hear me complain. Its so silly.

Now that I have some sense of purpose in my life again with this writing, I feel much better. I have something to do that I love. I have a passion for telling a story, explaining myself in words.

I urge you if you are like this or any of this sounds familiar to write a list of things you love. Then start doing them. It will make you feel better. I'm at home most of the time with the baby. I play and read with him of course. I just needed something that was my own. And this helps.

When A Baby Cries

It can be really tough when you put your baby to bed and they cry. All a mom wants to do is snuggle and hold him until he falls into a deep slumber. I realized early on that holding him just made him stay awake longer. It was worse if he woke up and I went in to pick him up. All your instincts say go get him. You sweat almost to go pick him up. I really enjoyed when he was a baby just a few months old and he would wake in the middle of the night and I had a reason to nurse him.
Now if he wakes up and I go get him I just make an event of the evening. We snuggle on the couch, he laughs at me, he tries to wriggle to go play with his toys. I take him up to his bed and it starts all over. Until I realize I need to let him fall asleep on his own. It's tough. When my husband is here, it's much easier. He tells me to let him fall asleep. He holds me back. Hah. I know its for the best.

The Simple Things: A Poem

A bird cracking into a peanut
The sound of soothing melodic tunes drifting in and out of my background
Incense stinging my nose with tranquil breezes

Taking a deep breath, my muscles are starting to let go.
Paint on my fingernails dries
Thoughts of the work week ahead start to interfere
Pushing them out, I notice darkness approaching around me.

A snore lets me know my husband is still alive
Soft hums radiate from my computer
There is no other place I'd rather be.

How nice to just sit and coax in nothingness
Your mind meshing into the keystrokes
Legs crossed I demand nothing less than silence.

The bird is quiet save the crackling of the peanuts.
Thank goodness for peanuts.

To My Baby Boy: A Poem

You started out as an idea, a thought, a spark in my imagination.
I went on with my daily routine pushing you aside.
One day I had a feeling you made yourself known.
Two pink lines gave you away.
Then another two just to make sure.
To finalize your existence another two.
After six lines, there was no escaping you.

You were happening
Inside each day you grew from a peanut to what you are at this very

I¹m not sure what you¹ll be like.
It seems you are pretty calm, reserved
Until you kick but then you still are methodic and rhythmic
Are you going to be stubborn like I am?

From your first pictures, you look like your Dad.
He says there is no way to tell but I know.

When you come to us we will love and cherish you.
Dad sings to you now and you seem to like it.

Thanks for not being too hard on me through your growing time.
I love you already.

Summer to Fall: A Poem

The wind blows in crisp, confident, clean
Carrying with it burning leaves, twigs, and the crunch of fall.

An apple cinnamon candle elates my senses
reminding me of running into huge piles of leaves.
They close in around me

We go get hot cider with red hots in it to warm us up.
The candies tingle my taste buds.

Through the corn maize we lose ourselves.
Stalks higher than the heavens loom as they sway in the breeze.

I pull my jacket higher up on the nape of my neck and feel my nose begin to run.
I don't mind it replacing the hot summer sun.

Under the stars we curl up in the hay bales.
The bumps along the trail send us deeper into our cushiony straw.

At the campfire we warm our reddened fingers.
My marshmallow burns off the stick.

Erasing my agression into the knife as it plunges into the head of the pumpkin.
Scraping out the seeds, I grow weary anticipating the face.

I pop out the eyes, and the juicy mouth begins to form a frown
mirroring my little brother's sharp grimace.

An ice pack goes onto his little head as he overcalculated the jump across the ditch to the pee tree.

I'm so glad its fall.


For the Ones I love

I'm reading this great book by Joyce Meyer right now and wanted to share some scripture and important points in it for you because I think it will help you very much as it has me.It's called Straight Talk. Thanks Brenda!

First if you are suffering right now going through consistent pain or grief remember 1 Samuel 17:37 where the Lord delivers David. Satan intends to make us feel alone and discourage us when we are doing his work. In Daniel 3:10-30 three men were put in a furnace because they refused to worship a golden statue of the king, they were freed from the furnace with no harm. When they were taken out not even smelling of smoke, the king promoted them. We learn that God will not only bring you out of your afflictions, but He will also bring you up!

The other thing is to remember we have to be good to ourselves. God will refresh our spirits anytime we feel weary or tired. See Matthew 11:28 Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. I will ease and refresh your souls.

If you are overwhelmed by too many commitments, the Lord calls us to listen to his prompting to be still and specifically in Matthew 5:37 he says Let your Yes be simply Yes, and your No be simply No; anything more than that comes from the evil one.


I'm learning to let go of life and the little details and throw it to God. For he can and wants to take over our lives and lead us down his path that he has chosen for us. He knew us in the mother's womb and made the choice to bless our lives.

We have to make the choice to get rid of all that distracts from him to ask him to show us the way. Teach us how to follow him in the way that he wants us. We must be OBSEssed with God. Get rid of our silly worries, or insane retarded wants. We are sinful and we want to hold on to what makes us comfortable. But we have to get rid of this today and grab hold of God with open arms.

Its hard to do this and take the step toward letting him take the Wheel. You heard that song by Carrie Underwood right? It's so true. When you open your eyes to your father, he lifts you up and blesses you every day. But its tricky because you have to let go of everthing you know. You can't keep some of your sins and follow him. You have to let them go. Or at least try.

So far when I look back at what I was and where I am now, I'm so much happier. Every day I have a peace that would've never been there with anything else but having the believe that Jesus died for us and we are saved through him.

If you don't do this your heart gets hard. Its tougher to seek him. You don't hear him when you are being loud. Be still and wait for him to reveal himself. He will. I guarantee it.

I'm so amazed at how much he has opened my eyes. Every day he puts people in my path that challenge my beliefs, that convict me for the selfishness I still have in my heart. I think I will always have that.

We can never be like Jesus perfect without sin, but we can get close. I feel closer to him every day. He gives you gifts. For example. We couldn't pay our bills one week. I just told my husband don't worry. God will provide. He did. He sent us a refund check from hospital bills and we got an offering from the church anonymously. Hm. Creepy.

I asked the Lord to take my friend to the altar, and he pushed her where she ran. There are miracles that skeptics may believe is something else. WHO CARES? I would rather take my chances with this life that gives me so much in return than my barren one I had before filled with stress and upset and disapointment and consumed by sin. I was drinking all the time, I was miserable.

Now I have a loving husband, a fabulous church that lifts me up. What have you got to lose? Take your chains and break them over Jesus's ax today. He is ready for you. He has a plan he wants to put in place for your life. Just ask him to take you into his arms. He's been there the whole time. He knows you. You don't have to explain yourself. IT's ok .

No matter what you've done, no matter how horrible, or broken you are. He's here for you. Like no one else. If you ever get depressed, he'll put someone in your path that you will help that you'll realize there is no reason for you to be depressed. There are much more worse off than you.

Just remember we are all brothers and sisters set to meet at our place in heaven someday. But you know what. You have the keys to unlock your heaven here today on earth. It's soo amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You know how fast you go through money. Maybe your parents loaned you some cash to pay some bills, maybe you got some money for a birthday. How fast did you spend it? Was it already spent in your mind. I was complaining in my head about what I couldn't get at the store and the things I couldn't go out and do and then I saw this episode of Oprah. She featured this young christian couple who started up this business called it's amazing. This is a network of people who find entrepeunerers all over the world who need just a few dollars to turn their lives around. This lady in this ad only need a couple hundred. She has children she has struggled to send to school. They only get dollars a day. I mean come on . How selfish of a nation can we be. At least I'm feeling pretty convicted right now. I know I can spend it faster than I can earn it.

Wishing all well

Here I am. In the blog world sharing my life. I will begin with the last five years. We typically plan that much out at a time don't we? As I graduated college, I got engaged to my soul mate, Eric. We had a six month engagement and I got my dream job in television. Four months after we were married, I got pregnant. We had decided to just let God run his plan on our lives. He thought four months was enough time for us to get aclamated to our newlywed routine. I was pretty upset about his decision. I got over it quickly and jumped right into helping this new lifeform grow inside me. It was an amazing experience to have something living inside you. I knew he was there when we went on a trip to St. Louis and I didn't drink any beer. That was weird for me.

When we got home I took the test and it came up positive. After six more tests it was official. We were going to enter the next chapter of our lives. It all seemed to happen so fast. I was a party girl in college working two jobs and suddenly I was a married women, just twenty-four and getting ready to bring a life into the world. Talk about overwhelming. My family was all around me and very helpful with advice. Lots of advice. When taking advice you just need to listen and nod your head. You don't neccessarily have to take it. I got everything from going all natural in birth to pulling on your boobs so they aren't tender when the baby nurses. Ahhh gross.

Anyway it was a perfect time. We enjoyed spending lots of time together. I slept every chance I got. The baby is crying right now. Too be continued...