Friday, April 3, 2009

Bring the Funk

It's amazing how much one little sidestep can totally knock you off your track. Ever since I pulled my side muscle and the doc told me I couldn't go work out, I have been depressed. But the rain is good sometimes. Sometimes we need it to wash over and get rid of all the dirt we have collected when all was well right? We don't notice how much it builds up until we have to take a bath. If I don't have something to do, I sit here and sulk. I know that's not right. But I don't know how to make up stuff.

If I see someone doing something and it seems like I can do it too, then I try. So I have been working on perserverence. Trying to stick to things for longer than quitting. Just keeping myself busy doing at least one thing I enjoy. I have been looking at different pictures and then I will try to make my house look like that. That's fun.

I started learning how to play the piano. I have always wanted to. Now I have the time.

When I took my 2 year old to the mall the other day while it was raining, I asked a lady if she was a stay at home mom. She said no, she works most days. There is nothing wrong with that. But I would really like to meet a stay at home mom and see what they do in a day. I need to know what you spend your time on. I am so used to having some kind of structure. Can I just be Que Sera Sera?? What will be will be and just enjoy this time?? I have the love of my life. I have a home. He has a great job. I have a healthy healthy boy. I am so blessed. But its hard sometimes just being normal. if that is what I am.

You know buying things, or going places is only temporary. We have to find happiness in ourselves. That is my goal. Reading scriptures, enjoying playtimes in the moment. Not waiting for the next thing. I think I have learned to master the time issue and just sit and enjoy...Listen to some music.

It's so weird to just have free time..It doesn't feel right. haha. Is it? haha.

Oh well. My sister saved me today and took me to the mall and we bought Yankee Candles. That made me happy for now.

1 comment:

Roxy said...

I hear yeah...I'm a creature of "to go". Everyone is different...there really is no normal. some of are just more "wired" than try and enjoy the quiet when you the bible, a book, find a project...TAKE A NAP...just enjoy! You're world will soon be "rocked" by another little man soon enough and you'll be BEGGING for quiet time. Come when you can