A Quarter Mom

Starting OVER

2011-07-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

Life has truly been a whirlwind lately. I haven't even had a chance to sit down for two seconds let alone compose myself long enough to complete a thought. My husband got a job offer that moved us across the country to South Carolina. At first I was completely excited. We get a raise enough to move us into a bigger home, more space for the kids and a possible studio for my photography business. All of the possibilities of traveling to the beach. Seeing my old college buddy because she's so close now.

Then there was leaving our family for the first time. I rationalized during the moving process my emotions away because after all, I can always visit and come back. I didn't realize how big of a part my family was in my daily routine with the boys. We would go to lunch, just hang out at their homes, or grandma would take Lex for a few hours during the day. Evening dates were no longer an option unless we wanted to fork over some money and that used to be free. It's all different.

Another point is starting all over with my entire support circle. No one knows me. When I walk into a church now to visit and see if it's for us, there is no deep unsaid connection because of our long talks. There is no appreciation for the last five years we dedicated to our youth and music in our church. It's all starting over. And that's emotional for me as well. I'm a stranger. But not for long!

Finally my business. I started my photography biz a few years ago and it was very exciting. Things took off fast for me and grew in a few short months. I learned a lot of things and now that is got to start all over again. That's ok though.

In the first two weeks I was greeted so warmly by my new group I joined in my MOPS group here. Mother's of preschoolers. Very nice.

We are going to be traveling home soon and the excitement is so fun! An entire week to see the ones I left behind. The beach can wait.

I'm looking forward to this new beginning in our life. To establish ourselves again and form new blessed relationships.

Run Forest Run

2010-11-09T12:42:00.000-08:00

I had a funny conversation with a friend today. While I was dropping Lex off this morning, I DRAGGED myself to the Y to get on the treadmill. There is a whole process in my head that I have to defeat to keep myself motivated.

Just had to wipe my son after going to the bathroom. Back to basics.

The first thing I do is I get it in my head that I have to find a time to workout. Sweat some as my instructor would say. I can really rationalize away my workouts if I am not careful. So to beat this, I get my sports bra on and get dressed to go to the gym first of all. That's half the battle.

Once I've got that accomplished I actually have to veer away from Chik Fil A, Walmart, or shopping, and head to the gym. When I'm in, I step on the treadmill and start walking and have to push myself to say we're not going to waste our time here, if we are walking it's going to be up a hill.

And Fast.

So today I had a friend that walked in and ended up running right next to me and my competitive nature kicked in and I ended up running for most of the time and really sweating it out. I'm so proud of myself. We had a good time talking and I ran without really having to make myself do so.

The thing about running is it hurts at first for me. But once I get going, it's like in Forest Gump when he was running with the braces on his legs. That had to be awkward and hurt. But he busted them off and he was off. That is how it is for me. Once I get past the couple creaks and aches, I'm home free. I get my music added to the mix and I'm a happy lady. And before long hopefully if I can get my stubborness out of my system, and my hubs will be happIER. Lol.

Eating Healthy for My INSIDE

2010-11-04T11:00:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say something today. I went to my doctor today for a yearly physical. He did blood work to test my lipids. My bad cholesterol was down by 30 points and my good cholesterol was where it needed to be.. I have been working out and eating "SUPER FOODS" I'll put a list under for you to see.

He said this is the simple things to keep us from having strokes, heart attacks, and diabetes. All run in my family.

It reminded me that whether or not the scale is going up or down, my inside body and choices are making me live longer for my boys. Please remember this when you get discouraged. Even though you might not see a difference outside, you are making a HUGe impact on the inside. The list below we use each week when we are making up our grocery list. Just having these foods in any way in our diet, has made a great difference.

Apples

Avocado

Beans

Blueberries

Broccoli

Cinnamon

Dark Chocolate

Dried SuperFruits

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Garlic

Honey

Kiwi

Low Fat Yogurt

Oats

Onions

Oranges

Pomegranates

Pumpkin

Soy

Spinach

Tea

Tomatoes

Turkey

Walnuts

Wild Salmon

My son's first Halloween

2010-11-02T14:01:00.001-07:00

My four year old is now going to preschool three days a week and he had his first halloween party this week. I brought my one year old and his brother with me to his party and he crawled right over to jump into the action here. It was adorable. Lex is learning so much in his class, just socially. This morning when I picked him up he had a made a new friend last week that he was really excited about. She dressed up as Jesse and he of course was Buzz, so that made them instant friends. Well he let me know today that she didn't have room for him to be his friend anymore because she had a new friend. I didn't know what to say. This is my little boy growing up and actually having issues that he is sharing with me that hurt his feelings and really I can't do anything about except maybe encourage him. Aww. I hope she's friends with him tomorrow.

He did have a great Halloween. Got the hang of going door to door pretty fast and this was his little costume here with his buddies in his class. He was soo pumped that his teacher was the Cat in the Hat. These are the days that I'm going to document because they will go by so fast.

Healthy Train

2010-11-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

*SHUDDER* Today was interesting. Last night I fasted from midnight to this morning late because I had to get blood work done for my doc exam on Thursday.

I drank water all morning. My sweet mom in law is a nurse who took my blood for me b/c my veins are tiny. She came to my home so I wouldn't have to go to the lab and get stuck a whole bunch, and, being sweet, brought me a Mcdonalds breakfast sandwich. The grease was dripping off it was so amazing. I ate it of course b/c how could I not?
Then we had a MoPs playdate at Mcdonalds on the WestSide.

Do you see where this day is going?

I thought it was so cute b/c Laura came over to me with a big thing of french fries with a funny look on her face and I started laughing because she was thinking the same thing. Her and I both participate on our Biggest Loser group on Facebook, we are at mcdonalds, and she's offering me french fries. Hilarious. I had to run intervention so I let Zach have some. Then I ate a couple. Then I went and bought the boys a happy meal that they shared and I got a "snack wrap" mushroom and swiss. I was pretty proud of myself.
So for dinner..Not sure. lol. So moral of the story. Some days are going to be not as great as other days, but I'm still making good choices inside of that. And that makes me happy. Here are two pictures to show a little progress. I go by the roundness of my face. The skinnier I am, the less round. I'm down from 176 to 171.5. Let us just see if I can maintain or get better.

Walking

2010-10-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

Where did my writing knome go? The little man that pops in my head with a great charismatic story to tell. He took a leave of absence and didn't ever return. Hope he comes back. I figure if I just write, eventually something will come to me. Anyway as far as life is concerned, my little man is almost four. I updated that on the sidebar thanks to my buddy who read my last post since JUNE.

My other little buddy is just turned one. And who just walked across the floor by himself tonight? HE did!! It was the cutest thing. He was so proud of himself. But just the once. It must've been the Kentucky Fried chicken he had for dinner.

I'm on a journey now. To begin this looking better goal. Taking care of myself.
I keep talking about it, but I'm still eating all the extras. I'm excercising but since I do that, I still sneak the extra piece of cheese. Even the little crunchies I get for my little guy. It's embarrassing. But I'm sharing it so I'm not hiding it anymore. I'm tired of being this size. A middle 14-16. When I can't believe that is reality. But it is. I have wavered between the 12-16 range over the last couple of months.

When the kids get sick, I'm home, but that doesn't mean I can't still focus on my diet. That's what I ultimately need to work on. I have a grocery list. We'll see what happens. This is me from my vacation in September, when I was really deciding to tackle this once and for all.

100th POST

2010-06-12T17:51:00.000-07:00

Everyone has surpassed me I know. I have been waiting on this moment for a long time and now I'm thinking I just need to get this over with. It's a great accomplishment. I can't wait half a year to get it over with. LOL. I have a photography business now. I'm going great with it. My boys are my life. They are absolutely amazing. Very intense, but amazing. I'm starting a book club with my MOPS group. It's John Baker's "Life's Healing Choices". The chance to work on moving forward and not getting HUNG up.

Everything is going very smoothly in my life right now. My grandma just turned 80 years old today. Seeing her grace and love and passion for life, just made me smile. Here are some pics of that.

The path to LOVELY

2010-04-29T05:17:00.001-07:00

Today, my mother-in-law took my hubs, boys, and I to this little garden path out in the middle of nowhere in Indiana. It was off all these SR 600 and whatnots. Very beautiful. Got some pics of the boys. This place smelled of lavender and all good things. Even the portapotties were beautiful.

Donut Holes BABY!

2010-04-29T05:09:00.000-07:00

My last two weeks have been jam packed with stuff to do. I am really proud to say, I got over my attitude about counting calories. I stopped all Diet Cokes from entering my body, and all fake sugar into my coffee. It's not that bad. I actually am aquiring a taste for it. Like when you make yourself eat your vegetables, you start to enjoy them. At least I feel better. There are definitely stages of this business of transforming your body. I was in denial for too long.

What got me to change was I kept telling myself that I had time to lose this baby fat. The baby is only 4 months, he's only 6 months. Then I saw a chick at Mommy and Me class at the Y who had a baby that was 3 months and she was tiny, but still had her belly. But I haven't been tiny since before Lex was born and he's 3. Get over it Liz!

Here I am two weeks into keeping track what I eat on
http://www.sparkpeople.com/ and I'm two pant sizes down from 16 to 14. And I'm on my way.

Every morning I battle my brain to go to the gym. Always getting there somehow. Even though my brain is telling me all the reasons not to, I still make myself get the boys dressed, put on my sports bra, and tennis shoes, JUST IN CASE.

I usually go.

Last week I was on my way to the gym, or so I was heading in that general direction and somehow my car veered off the road, right into the Krispy Kreme drive-thru. Dangerous that they have a drive-thru.

My 3 yr old wanted a donut hole. He was good that morning. Oh, what's that Krispy-Kreme, you only have donut holes in cups of 10? Oh well.

So I ate one and gave him one. Then I ate another. 3 by the time I got to the Y.

Walked in and sweat myself into a frenzy running away from the fat that was making its way to my thighs.

I'm gonna be ok.

United Tour Coming To Evansville!!!

2010-04-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

Show Date: Saturday May 1, 2010
Doors Open: 6:00 PM
Showtime: 7:00 PM
Tickets: www.itickets.com

Location: EVANSVILLE, IN
Venue: New Beginnings
Address: 11420 Middle Mount Vernon Road
City: Evansville, IN 47712

Sanctus REAL, Johnny Diaz, Mike's Chair!!!

In the Moment

2010-04-15T05:51:00.000-07:00

My husband has shown me a very valuable lesson in life. That is to be in the moment. Even the slow ones. I move fast. Always. Thinking ahead to the next thing I have to do. At first I was proud of myself that I could accomplish so much in a day.

My heart racing with excitement...er um...Anxiety. If anyone got in my way, I'd snap. Or snip. Not necessarily yelling. That's not a person I would like to be around.

Last night my husband was in his workshop outside making numbers for our house. I guess he noticed it was a little damp in there or humid. I walked in to let him know I was going on some errands only to find this when I came out there.

My heart started racing. Many thoughts came to mind.
JUST THOUGHTS, NO OUTBURSTS.......
Do you realize all the animals that will now take refuge in here.?
Your tools are exposed to the elements until this gets fixed.
I guess the backsplash in the kitchen will be put off for another six weeks.

What are you going to cover this with.?
What money will you use to buy supplies to rework this wall.?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I took a deep breath within myself and said oh, look at that.
It is my nature that before I take any action, I think of all the things I need.
This comes in handy with children.
For example.

Baby in tub. Before you put baby in tub, you need the following:
A towel, outfit laid out, surface to put them on, soap nearby, washcloth.
You can't leave the baby in tub by himself so you must have all these things accessible before beginning the bath.

Why does my husband just put holes in walls? Who knows. But all I know for sure, is I will stand by my man through the holes and pray for my heartrate to adjust to a healthy level from now on.
This is what matters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He does stuff around the house..YIPPEE.
And he did that wtih the hole b/c water was seaping into the building and would ruin it for good if he didn't do it ....

A time to Laugh

2010-02-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

There has been no desire for me to write because I have been very content in my busy life lately. Since Christmas we got the puppy and have since given it away. It was too much to have a young puppy pooping, potty training a 3 yr old, and changing a baby. I was able to get some things I wanted because we got a nice tax return this year. Good times!! All is well.

Dog Bites, Want Hair Did, Baby Teething

2010-01-09T17:55:00.000-08:00

Life sucks sometimes. At all levels it's awesome when you have the basics. But eventually you want your hair done. A beautician to make it gorgeous so that every time you look in the mirror you say oh yes that's me.. Oh well. Not now. These are the days of our lives. The days we have to sacrifice b/c we have 3000 hospital bills to cover and we got a dog, a cute little puppy , and the annoying commentary from your husband who wishes he made more so you could get your hair done. Oh well. These are the oh wells that have to go down in a well that never gets heard b/c it is nonsense. Just garble. Wants are not needs. And that's what we have to cover now. Some people in my universe get wants all the time. IN threefold and I get jealous, YES I DO. Lets hear it for the hard workers out there that have been able to do that. Get over it. I have allI need. And that's great.

Love ya.

Best Christmas EVER!

2009-12-25T18:31:00.000-08:00

This year was amazing. I went to open my presents with my family this morning. Every year, my nan usually gives us all envelopes with money. I was expecting this on this particular year to save for my camera for my new business. I've been borrowing a friends camera to do sessions to save up for my camera. I am half way there. Well this morning I didn't get an envelope. When we were opening our boxes that we get every year, the camera I needed and was saving for was underneath some baby food!!!! I started crying. I haven't been that surprised and happy since my husband asked me to marry him. This business is such a passion of mine. This meant my family believed in me to invest in me and I was so thrilled.

So tonight I used my savings for some business cards and a strap for my camera and a case. I'm so excited!!!

My little guys got some clothes and games and they are content with our new puppy as well. Good times!!

Christmas

2009-12-14T20:00:00.001-08:00

This morning I went to my MOPS group which is MoMS of preschoolers. It gives me a chance to be around other moms and chill by myself without my children for a couple hours. It's very nice. Anyway, one mom read an excerpt about of Max Lucado's book. It was 25 questions for Mary the mother of Jesus asked while she was raising him. It's so perfect for this holiday season. A time to really revel in our Savior and his life and how he gave us his sacrifice so that we may be new and whole and have peace. It's amazing how much we forget this. Here are the questions.

These are from Max Lucado's book God Came Near.

1. What was it like watching him pray?
2. How did he respond when he saw other kids giggling during the service at the synagogue?
3. When he saw a rainbow, did he ever mention a flood?
4. Did you ever feel awkward teaching him how he created the world?
5. When he saw a lamb being led to the slaughter, did he act differently?
6. Did you ever see him with a distant look on his face as if he were listening to someone you couldn't hear?
7. How did he act at funerals?
8. Did the thought ever occur to you that the God to whom you were praying was asleep under your own roof?
9. Did you ever try to count the stars with him....and succeed?
10. Did he ever come home with a black eye?
11. How did he act when he got his first haircut?
12. Did he have any friend by the name of Judas?
13. Did he do well in school?
14. Did you ever scold him?
15. Did he ever have to ask a question about Scripture?
16. What do you think he thought when he saw a prostitute offering to the highest bidder the body he made?
17. Did he ever get angry when someone was dishonest with him?
18. did you ever catch him pensively looking at the flesh on his own arm while holding a clod of dirt?
19. Did he ever wake up afraid?
20. Who was hi best friend?
21. When someone referred to Satan, how did he act?
22. Did you ever accidentally call him Father?
23. What did he and his cousin John talk about as kids?
24. Did his brothers and sisters understand what was happening?
25. Did you ever think, That's God eating my soup

Year in Review

2009-12-01T08:26:00.000-08:00

We're almost to the end of 2009. Can you believe it?
All in a year:

1. Had a baby boy
2.Started my photography biz : http://eebeeimages.blogspot.com
3. began a daily devotional called Good Morning Gals.
4. Made long lasting friends in MOPS
5. Got healthier in Mommy & Me.

And it goes on and on. But those are some incredible goals that I have achieved and am grateful for the outcomes and what it continues to do in my life.

2009-11-20T19:27:00.000-08:00

well i just haven't blogged in awhile. so what. i had a baby. i got my lady junk taken out.yeah a partial hysterectomy. my baby is not sleeping. he's three months so he's teething...i'm done. yep. all done. just on a break. and it's ok to do that. i love my family. started a photography business. love life. good times. so that's it. bye.

A picture in my mind

2009-10-21T15:05:00.000-07:00

It will happen and I am happy about it. Being a photographer will be so exciting. I will get to share in the happy moments of people's lives. This is going to be a journey I begin this month. I have two sessions planned with my little nikon and then I'm currently teaching myself and learning photoshop. It's so hard to learn something the older I get I noticed I want to know it yesterday. But I know part of this life is growing always. Never stopping to learn how to be a better person, or grasp a new concept or learn a new way of something. We get labeled or have complexes throughout our lives. My personal quest is to beat these head on with this new found time I have as a stay at home mom. Yes I have personal free time little minutes here and there throughout the day. So far I am mastering cooking. I always ran away from the kitchen growing up. My sister and mom could cook so well. Unless I was good at it, I didn't want to try. That makes no sense I know. So I'm quitting being immature and learning.

I try a new recipe or two each week and so far I"m doing fabulous.

With this photography thing, I've always spent time editing pictures and taking them wherever I am I want to. It's such a passion of mine. If I master photoshop this year, then next year I'll get a CANON SLR Rebel camera. Or ask for it because it is a hefty price. Please if you are out there reading this pray on this venture for me that I enjoy every step of this and continue with it.

Free Pumpkins

2009-10-02T12:40:00.001-07:00

Two years ago I lived in an apartment and we had our first halloween with our baby.
Well I put a pumpkin out on our porch and was happy. A day later, it was STOLEN!
Yeah I was skeptical of all carved pumpkins after that and had a sick feeling every time I saw a pumpkin. Well today when I came home from working out, there were TWO ..TWO PUMPKINS sitting on my porch! Someone just gave me pumpkins. How cool is that?
Two babies later and a house, I'm with free pumpkins! I'm so happy.

So here they are painted!!!!!!

One Month Old

2009-09-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been an entire month of newborn heaven for mommy. If I knew how easy it was going to be using the bottle, I wouldn't have done anything different. Haha. I nursed my first one for six months, then got sick. This time around I was planning on doing the same as long as I could nurse. Well I tripped in the middle of the night and hurt my back so I had to stop because of meds.

My little guy is sleeping thru the night and I have myself back. I've starting a Good Morning Gals group that is just fabulous. It's really blessed me. All you do is send a bible verse to a group of people in your email. It's very simple and then you can write something about it how it has touched you.

Well I better get to the day.

One choice from Together

2009-09-03T18:43:00.000-07:00

The new TobyMac cd is coming out in February and this is one of his singles and it's just amazing. I love the sound and the message. CITY ON OUR KNEES

Jesus gave the thief everlasting life right there just before he was about to enter the threshold between life and eternity. He gave him a choice and he gives us all a choice. No matter how bad we have been, how long we have sinned. We have a chance to come together now in this life and become a city on our knees. Why not now and why not here? Why wait till we get more time or more money or just after we finish this one thing. Lets make it a priority today to start now. In attitude, in mind, in spirit. IN all we do.

I'm soooo tired! The baby kept me up all night and no reprieve with any naps today. It was a tough time. One of my friends reached out to me and it was unexpected and very needed. I was angry. And sometimes we're just ANGRy and sometimes we're just not sure what the plan is. But God has a plan. And that is what matters. He loves us.

A Reality Comic Strip

2009-08-28T12:57:00.001-07:00

Husband enters bathroom.

FFRONT VIEW WHILE SITTING ON TOILET

SIDE VIEW AS HE YELLS OUT TO ME...

Honey, is there anymore toilet paper? I'm sick lying in bed and start laughing hysterically! I was just in the bathroom and noticed this scenario and didn't take the time to put it back in the closet, but I did put the new role on the dispenser.

CLASSIC!

Pigeon Amongst the Flowers

2009-08-21T14:49:00.000-07:00

When our new boy arrived last week, I was surprised to see him come a day early. I guess he had to be born on the same day as my first one. Just a different month. It was weird because my sister, brother, and I were all born on the 2nd of our respective months. Now we have our boys each born on the 13th of their months.

Anyway all went well and this week has been amazing. Yesterday we had the best weather. Fluffy clouds, cool breezes, and a 2 dollar sprinkler was calling my 2 yr olds name. He ran thru it while I let my new baby boy have some sun. My husband and I sat in lawn chairs and took it all in. Our family is complete.

The night after I got two four hour stints of sleep and felt so refreshed! My pediatrician is amazing and was able to calm my fears of an impending ear infection and cold. My little guy has the sniffles. He's ok though back to his birth weight and nursing like a champ.

My 2 yr old is really getting the hang of being a big brother.
The sweetest thing about this week is all the out-pouring of love from our dear friends all around us. We got cards from people from our church, food from my workout group at the Y, and good food at that!, and even a package here and there from family around us.

It's just a beautiful concept that it takes a village to raise a child. This really has been a true blessing to us and we can't be more thrilled. I am healing very well so far and able to get off the pain meds that make me loopy..

Loopy Example: My husband and I were driving to our in-laws and I loudly exclaimed;
LOOK, over there in the flowers....A PIGEON!!!!!!!!!
Immediately I looked my husband and the face and began hysterical laughter.

No reason why the pigeon caught me off guard as an image of magic. Who knows. Maybe for a split second I thought I had seen a magical new species.

Introducing Baby #2

2009-08-17T19:21:00.001-07:00

Can you believe it? God is such a wonderful wonderful being.
We have our little blessing home in our family is complete!!

I actually went into labor! I started contracting at 1 a.m Thursday evening and didn't realize it was contractions until 4:30 that morning. I called the doctor and we went in. Once there we went straight to get the c-section and had baby number 2 at 6:15 a.m.

He is amazing. So peaceful and relaxed. Not anything tough ladies. The only part that was tough was me not resting and feeling the pain. I have to take my time. It's so amazing being a mom to two little guys. Also amazing is my husband who is taking on all my duties while he is home with me for the week.

A very special thing that happened this time around was I saw how incredible my friends have become to me in my life. It's incredible to have woman I work out with lifting me up and my family with their cooking for the week!

It's so refreshing to be able to lean on them thru our Lord's work in them.
In so many ways he's showing me how we can work thru him outside of church.

I even started my Good Morning Girls group this week. So far so good.

We'll see what happens.

Love Liz

Mysterious Ways

2009-08-08T13:01:00.000-07:00

THIS IS ARTIE.
Yesterday I went to spend the day with my mother-in-law. She is amazing. We were sitting outside while my two year old was playing ball in the yard. A west highland terrier was prancing down the road hiking his leg up on mailboxes. He didn't have any tags or a leash so we got ahold of him and tied him up with some water. I took him to a local animal vet and had his microchip scanned. Nothing. I gave him a flea pill so in case I took him home, I wouldn't get unexpected company. He was an amazing dog. Very laid back, didn't bark, and just sat down in the car. I took him home after a bath and brush. Set him up in the kitchen and waited for his owner to claim him. I had visions of if he would be part of our family, but didn't get too excited. I'm going to have our second son next week.

A call came in just after I made dinner and it was his owner. She was very grateful that he had such care. She gave my 2 year old a little westie toy and me a card. After they left, I opened it. It was a $50 bill and card saying thanks.

My husband, two year old and I went out for ice cream, got some curtains, and a candyland game. We also needed some groceries so that helped out so much. It's amazing how God works. He provides just when we need for exactly what he knows we need. It was nice to be able to do that and have my mind on the dog and fun for a day.

MAJOR nesting..

2009-08-06T18:33:00.000-07:00

When it's time for a new little baby to come into this world a mother to be can exhibit extremely irrational bouts of anxiety on how her home looks. May it be the impending guests who are there only to look at the new life, but she assumes she'll be embarrassed if all isn't in order? Could be the raging hormones finishing up the last couple of bits of MAKING life? Who knows. Whatever it may be, this extreme tension is all but gone for little Zachary's arrival and I couldn't be happier to show you what I did in one day. Well first I saw this picture on a fellow bloggers website.

It was shutters on the fireplace. For some reason I decided I should have shutters on my fireplace. I looked around and my mom had some old bar swing doors in her garage. She gave them to me. EXHIBIT A. It's a pair. This is one of them.

Upon inspection, I would've in the past completely ignored them, but I didn't thanks to all my crafty bloggers out there who have inspired me to look beyond the horridness. My mom also thought she'd save these coffee cans for me. Gave me four of them. I like things in threes so I took three. EXHIBIT B.

And furthermore, teeheehee, I painted them with some Behr paint I had leftover from my trim work. This gallon has lasted me ages. Mixed up a little of the blue Glidden quart I got for free from their giveaway a month ago. Then I painted the coffee cans to match the blue. CLEVER!

Here is the finished piece.

Also my sister came over today with her drill and I was able to hang a series of pics that I was inspired by THE YOUNG HOUSE blog to do. It's not anything close as cute, but good enough for me. Also I have this stupid side door in my living room and it bugs me. I covered it up with sheers from the dollar store. My sister hung them for me!! God Bless her soul.

Just picture a white door with three tier windows in it. We took a piece of white fabric to cover the door first so it wouldn't show thru the sheers. Then hung the rod a couple inches above the door. Then the sheer panels. $5 bucks at dollar store!

GLAMOROUS ...OOH THE FLOSSY FLOSSY.

Tubes Tied

2009-08-04T14:25:00.000-07:00

Here we are at this point in my life. I'm 27 years old and saying no more children thru pregnancy. At first discussion of this I went into tears. It was a weird concept that I hadn't considered. After Eric and I discussed it further though I really dont' want to be pregnant again. It was nice being pregnant twice in my life and all is well. I am going in for a c-section next week and then they are going to cut my tubes while they are doing it. The doctor said it would only be five more minutes of work while she is in there. Wow. That's amazing. Five minutes and I'm done having babies.

So then I thought about it some more and we will always have the adoption option if we want another child and that is something Eric and I have always had in the back of our minds. It's so amazing this miracle of childbirth and the whole process. I really am grateful for the friends, and family who have helped me get thru this pregnancy so far. It's been tough. With the bleeding, not working out at the end, and pre-term labors. So we are at the end here and ready to see our new baby boy. I'm so excited for him to be a part of our family.

It really feels like my life has been on hold in a way. I've still cooked and cleaned as much as I could but I have had to sit a lot more and it takes me twice as long to do things. All is well though and I'm grateful for what God has blessed our lives with.

With love

Liz

I won!

2009-08-02T16:08:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to say thanks to
Courtney for the most awesome giveaway ever! A spiritual guide to help remind me to sit in God's word. There are so many reasons today that we put our bibles on the shelf and read a million other things; grocery lists, magazines, our friends twitters, etc... This couldn't have come at a better time for me because there will be sleepless nights nursing in my near future and what better way to spend in surrounded in God's word. Thanks again! Also I'm starting a personal bible study group in the fall so this may work out to be the center of it if all goes well.

PEE

2009-07-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

Well I started the potty training process a couple months ago and it's been a steady declining process. You know how you get jump started doing something with a lot of energy and passion and it just dwindles? Well that seems to be the case with my 2 year old. He was peeing in the toilet standing up and even he pooped a couple times. But then bam nothing. He would say he wanted to use the potty but he just forgot how I guess. Well today I decided I would put regular undies on him and he is just peeing in them. I don't know if he even cares. I keep bringing him to the toilet. Maybe I just need to wait. I don't know.

POOP

Baby Zach -4 weeks away!

2009-07-20T13:15:00.001-07:00

Here he is! Isn't the ultrasound 3D amazing? This is my 35th week and I'm ready for this little guy to meet us. I'm 3 centimeters dilated today so we'll see. I'm scheduled for c-section on August 17th. I may not make it that long. They say he is a good size and should average 8 lbs by the time he's ready to get here. Isn't that crazy? Things are great. I have been relaxing around the house and folding little clothes for him. Big brother is ready to meet him.

Want Grocery Relief?

2009-07-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

GO HERE!!!!!!
e-Mealz-A Meal Planner

Moms out there who hate coming up with a grocery list every week.
Then you have to pick out recipes. You get in a rut and have to make the same meal every week. My hubs one day said "sigh" garlic chicken again?

He found this website and it has just changed our lives! It's so awesome.
It's five bucks a month but it's so worth the money you save b/c you are never wasting food.

You go there, choose the plan you want. We use the lowfat Wal-mart plan. I can go to Aldi's too for cheaper items if I want. You can really be flexible with it.

Print out the two weeks worth of meals. Then you can go thru them and see what you want and substitute if you don't like a meal. Then you have a grocery list with the prices suggested right next to it and the final tally at the bottom. This way you aren't surprised and embarrassed that you overspent at the checkout.

It's the best. I put this on my fridge and get to figure what I'm gonna make for the day. I can defrost that way and get things ready.

The chart you print out has the meal, then the ingredients you need next to the meal, then the directions on how to make it!! All on one chart to stick on your fridge.

I just love this site so much. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped our family.

An Octagon

2009-07-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

I haven't written on here in awhile. I guess it's because I've been so happy. My aunt told me a funny saying that is out there.

The first three months of pregnancy - You're Leary
The second three months of pregnancy- You're Cheery
The third and last three months - You're Weary

I have done what I said I was going to do this summer and floated mostly in the pool going swimming with my little guy and enjoying him as much as I can. I talk to him about his brother coming. He seems pretty excited about it. We'll see what happens when he's actually here. I have dilated a half centimeter every week I've gone to the doc so I am on very limited movement and that has been tough. I've gotten a lot of stuff done and NOT done around the house. I keep sitting in places looking around going hm..What can I do with that spot. IT BUGS ME!
I redo or work on it and just having an idea of what I am going to do pleases me. I have some pictures saved of ideas. My husband is working diligently on the back door.

We had to have it replaced since the thing was old and the window broke.
See lots of things going on to catch up on.

In the midst of all this, I was driving over to spend time with in-laws, YES I LOVE THEM! On the drive we stopped at a stop sign. My 2 and a half year old little guy tells me "LOOK Mommy, AN OCTAGON!".

I register what he just said and realize indeed the STOP SIGN is in fact in the shape of an Octagon. CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like a sponge I tell you what. I was so thrilled with his observation I just sat there for a minute getting honked at. I didn't care. It's the simple things in life.

Wandering Eyes

2009-06-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

How many times when you were dating your significant other did you wonder if it was for real? When did you know you got a good egg or a bad one? Hopefully you didn't stick yourself with a smelly one. Or at least if you did you make them wash once in awhile.

What I'm saying is that I tried to call everyone I knew to shout this awesome present I got from my husband last night.

He and I were talking about explicatives around our children. The fact that we have to filter areas b/c our two year old is a repeater and to a point we have control over who and what is said around them.

Well then he tells me that day at work he was offered free lunch by his boss to go for a "psuedo-meeting".

When they were about to leave one of his co-workers walked up to him and said I guess you aren't going. He says yeah I'm going after all. Then he said where they were going. It was one of those boobie hang out the butts restaurants with the good hot wings ya know the one I'm talking about?

Well when he heard that, my HUSBAND tells the guys he's sitting that one out. The co-worker asked him why he wasn't going and he said he had his wife at home to look at. He didn't need to set himself up to look at anyone else but me.

I was like what??????

How much worth did that give to me? Can we say brownie points????

So I just had to shout out to the rooftops in blogworld how amazing of a husband I have. Give props to your man for the things they do for you out of pure love.

God is good.

Mind Play Tricks

2009-06-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

No matter how much confidence we gain from the things we do, acquire, or learn about ourselves, there is always that nagging negativity that creeps in here and there.

The kind that begins as a small voice and if you allow it will grow into possibly an anxiety attack. Guess what? Most of the time it's baseless. You may have a feeling about how something came off, but really? Is it even there? Conspiracy theories, insecurities all of these things rip us ladies of our energy. It's not necessary.

I am learning to conquer a lot of this stuff by a few excercises.

1. Recognize the voice when it begins. Tell it out loud shut up or stop.
(eventually this will trick you into listening and attacking it back)
2. Combat the issue before it becomes one. Whomever told you something or looked at you a certain way. Just confront them. This is tough. Most of the time we even are in that situation is a lack of communication from us. Just ask what they meant or where it came from. Most of the time this diffuses it immediately and should be the first thing done.

3. Have a trusted friend to vent to when you get that way if its' out of control. In love they should help you figure out that its not anything you should worry about.

I'm sharing this because I have been tackling a lot of things in my mind because I have the time and trying to be a better person overall. Almost all my anxiety is gone based on having God at the center of my life. He gives me a peace that passes all my understanding.

My husband is really good at helping me realize a lot of what I come up with is too much thinking into it. For example.

I will sit here and look at peoples actions and go hmm..Was that directed at me?
A few situations have occurred lately and instead of focusing on the positive parts I'm looking at what may have been. With later dealings, realizing it was all for not.

The other part is your worth. My husband said a wonderful thing to me that I wrote and hung up next to my computer. I was wondering if I was a good enough friend to people and wondering why I didn't have more...etc..etc...

He said Liz,

Any person would be lucky to have you as a friend.

How is that for worth? Amazing. I encourage all of you to knock that off today. Use the things I shared as excercises and see how much more content you are in your day.

Love

IT's HOT!

2009-06-02T14:13:00.000-07:00

Wow. What a day. I woke up this morning so early with my baby boy. He is amazing. I wish this time would last forever. He's so sweet and charming to everyone. We go grocery shopping and he waves and smiles at everyone. He hugs old ladies legs. He's just adorable.

I finally tackled his nursery today to update for the baby and clear stuff out. It's tough with pregnancy brain to filter thru all the stuff. I just knew I had to get it all in order b/c I would be sitting there nursing and seeing all the clutter. That would've driven me crazy. Its so weird how slow I'm moving these days. My baby in my tummy is just stretching me out and so low that I have back pain and just have to take things slow. That doesn't agree with my brain. Oh well.

It took me the better part of the day and a short nap but I got it done. I'll have my hubs vacumn tonight and take out the big bags to storage.

A funny side story.........................

Yesterday I took my new car in that we just bought to make room for new baby on it's way right? Well the shocks were a little worn so I took it in b/c it's still under warranty.
I get a call from the receptionist telling me that she had bad news. My heart sank. I'm thinking they found a serious issue with my NEW car.

No...The repair guy accidentally broke the hood of my new car! I HAD to laugh when she told me that. She was so apologetic. I just couldn't believe how freaky that is.
So while it's getting replaced, I'm driving a rental vehicle at their expense.
The manager came up to me when I went in to pick up the seat and other stuff. He looked like he had a tail between his legs. I told him it's not problem as long as they take care of their mistake they've done a good job. I'm not upset.

When I went to pick up my rental car, the guy there asked me meekly if I was ok to drive this specific model. I told him of course. I guess there are people out there that take advantage of freak things with a bad attitude. But I would say hey ALL GOOD.

That morning I bought hubs some undies, and my 2 year old let his grandfather "POC" know that they were for his "willy". But he said the scientific word.
Then when we went to pick up the rental we were still carrying the undies and he told the salesman there they were for daddy. He made the UNMENTIONABLES "MENTIONABLE">

HAHAHHAAHHA

Dunk:Disclaimer POOP

2009-05-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

Go let Dad smell that. Not mommy.
I just said that to my 2 year old after he announces to me he just pooted.
I wish I didn't misread that this morning. It was a nasty mess.

I hear him say I pooped in the cup. I just assumed he pooted in the cup. I'm sitting there while he is bathing putting on my makeup. I can't see the inside of the tub happenings.

A few minutes later, he says hey mommy, I pooped in the tub and it's nasty.

I get up and I hear that jaws theme song playin with a mixture of the pycho theme song ree ree ree ree. Yeah you get the picture.

Not just one baby ruth, I'm talking 3 dumps in one, with floating seeds and mess all over the bottom. Somehow he managed not to get it on him. Weird.

When that happened the one time thank goodness, it was only once. I wonder. Will the next one be more poop? I just wonder.

At least I didn't take a picture.

He is amazing, my two year old. Really he is fabulous. The other night at the grocery he told the clerk his hair was all kinds of crazy.
I love him so much.

To keeping life interesting.

All is Well

2009-05-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor today and she said that everything should be ok. Just if I feel any labor at all to call. So I am back to excercising and doing all that I would like to do. Woohoo!

Home from the Hospital

2009-05-18T20:13:00.000-07:00

We're home from the hospital. Went in at four for a checkup to see if it was anything to do with the placenta and they said my cervix looked short. Like pre-term labor short. Sent me to triage for another hour and monitored me for contractions. When no contractions were there, they sent me home and told me to come back on Friday for another check. So basically I get to sit around and not clean or excercise or crud while I wait. I can do that. I'm just blessed for your prayers and the love I felt when I was sitting waiting to hear nothing. Hopefully this is just a fluke and I can have a healthy pregnancy the remainder of this time.

Hmmphhh!

2009-05-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

I am collecting data on a certain specific candle chain on their customer service tactics. Have you ever been out shopping and you have only a specific amount of money to spend and you are so excited to buy your specific little trinket whatever it may be, and the sales person says "It that all you're going to buy?".

Excuse me, but I'm buying something. Don't make me mad or I'll walk out with zero sales for you missy.

Has this happened more than once in one specific location? Well it has for me. Hahahaha.

I was out with my hubs and we were just browsing. I was able to convince him that we really needed this tiny little smelly yummy votive to put on our candle warmer at home.
A 2 dollar sale I believe. Maybe less than that.

I put my purchase on the counter. The salesPERSON says "Is that all you're buying"?

Yep I exclaimed proudly.

I even paid with quarters.

Fast forward about 5 months and we were able to purchase a new car!!! Woohoo.
Go us. We needed room. I only had one working seatbelt in the backseat of my 2 door car from college.

Of course you have to have a personalized smell in your car and hopefully mine isn't B.0. Hahhahahaha.

No I have a specific smell that I enjoy. Guess what? It's time to go back to this specific place that I love oh so dearly.
I go in and choose the specific air freshener in a packet of one!

The sales PERSON sees my request lying on the counter and says "You have to get the 3-pack."
I quickly tell him that my hubs and I agreed on just one.

Then I ask the person if it's more expensive to ring up the sale than to sell it to me or something in a light jovial nature.

The sales PERSON then says crudely "It actually costs me more to stand here and listen to you talk!" WHAT???????????????????

I just laughed and said I didn't feel guilty and walked out proudly.

When I got home, I was telling a few friends about the experiences.

One of them actually had her own story. There is supposedly a candle ettiquette.
Yes. That's right. A specific way to smell a candle if you are looking to purchase one.

This individual buyer went in to purchase a candle at this specific candle location and was lifting up the biggest ones they sell, opening up the lid, and sniffing into the candle. Apparently (and unbenownest to me) this is incorrect.

Appalling actually. According to the version of this story, the sales PERSON walked up to her, and let her know she needed to pick up not the biggest version of that scent, but the smallest, open the lid, and sniff the lid, NOT the inside of the candle.

Wow. Are you serious?

So here I am revelling in the funniness.

I think for our next excursion I shall go in and purchase the smallest priced item and pay with pennies. Teehehehe.

Peace in Turmoil

2009-05-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. 5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phillipians

I never really quite knew the meaning of this verse until I experienced it last night. It's amazing how real scripture knocks you down when you suddenly realize what it means.

Last night after a long day of doing errands, making dinners, etc, I was putting my pj's on ready to retire for the evening. I felt something run down my leg. I thought it was weird so I went to the bathroom and it was blood. At six and a half months that is not something you want to see.

So I told my husband and he called his mom. I called my doctor.

She called me back and let me know she wanted me to come into the hospital.
When we were getting ready to leave I started freaking out crying, cussing, just losing my head. I was trying to hold it in because my 2 year old gets upset when I'm upset so I was quiet about it mostly. But I was about to lose it and then all of a sudden it was as if someone shot me with a tranquilizer gun and I was completely content and peaceful. I was actually giggly. It was really weird.

I went to the hospital and my husbands' mom met us there in case she needed to take our toddler home for the night. We had no idea.

I sat there for an hour while they monitored the baby and I was telling my mother in law what happened to me and she said that everyone was at home praying.

When I told my mom about it she said Liz, this is the place where this verse comes in. A peace that passes all understanding.

Amazing. I was totally grateful for my Lord and the sheer power of prayer and the love in my life all around me I'm protected from myself and all my sin.

Don't ever waste that or take that for granted. If you say you are going to pray for someone, that is nothing to take lightly, or if someone asks you to pray for them.

It's serious and amazing.

Our God is an awesome God.

So today we have an ultrasound to see what it was and try to figure what my fate will be for the next few months.

I'll keep you posted.

Big Dreams

2009-05-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

When I first met my husband, my mom and I clashed and there was a rift between us for several years. I grew up in her love and constant friendship. She is an amazing woman. For this mother's day it meant all the world to me to be where we have in our relationship today. We had a lot of issues just butting heads with my marriage and I growing apart in my own ways. It happens in every relationship. We came back together a few weeks ago when we went to a quilt show. It was incredible. It was just like we were back where we used to be and had a quiet understanding.

My mom is an incredible artist. She threadpaints. I have talked about that in previous posts. It was like growing up with a family member being a movie star I guess in a sense. I never realized the potential and wonderment that having a mom as an artist actually was. I took it for granted. I did learn a lot from her but I was so my own person and never tried to be in her grace of what she knew.

I guess now I see what we can ultimately be capable of when we just open our eyes. Who cares what we can't do or probably can't do. Why not try something and see if we love it!! What are we missing out on when we fear the unknown?

I'm starting a new project with my mom soon. I will be launching a blog, videos, and patterns that will be simple things to do for you who have a free moment and want to delve into the world of creativity. Anyone can do it.

I'm looking at this and coming into it with no sewing experience, and little design knowledge. But as an apprentice to my mom, we will be sifting thru all the awesome designs and the fun things people our age want that we can't find or is too expensive to just buy.

I hope we can share this together. I am so excited for it.

On another note with this new sense of perserverance, here is a pic of my mommy and me class. I have been working out hard. Trying to keep myself together. Haha.

Alive and Kickin'

2009-05-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

This week has been so amazing. I got an opportunity to work for a guy from church just for this week for a little extra spending money. My mother in law and sister helped on watching my 2 year old so that I could get there. I really appreciate their help.

It has definitely made me appreciate staying at home though. I am so tired when I come home and the house is messy and I don't have any desire to clean it because I missed playing with my toddler all day. It just gave me a great new appreciation for staying home. I love it. I miss it. I knew that would be the case once I would start working again.

In other news, I also received a gift from my grandfather who passed on five years ago. God provides. Just when our vehicles that we have had since college crapped out, we get this just in time to get a new family car.

I can't wait to get back to working out next week also. Well back to relaxin'..

Oopsy

2009-04-29T14:26:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted on here for a little bit because I've been so thrilled and happy and content. For me I guess I like to write or vent if something is tough or I get more introspective if I'm down and think of writing. While I'm riding this happy train, I wanted to share some awesome news.

My mom invited me to go on a trip with her to the AQS Quilt Show in Paducah last week. I was really excited to have a day for just mom and I. It had actually been over a year since that happened. My sister came home and I have my 2 year old with me if ever I go see her. So this was really good for us.

We had a two hour drive there and back to just talk about things. It was so refreshing. She was so encouraging to me. I got to see the world my mom had been immersed in for the past couple years. Her and my stepdad quit their jobs to pursue her dream of being a threadpaint artist. This is painting with thread. The technique. She had a blog of her own HERE.

It was so amazing to see her associates and how she inspires people she is around.
All the people we met were so fun and sweet.

When we went to lunch with one of her associates, they were brainstorming future projects. I was so inspired. My mind was really alive and passionate in that environment.

All of a sudden my mom and I were brainstorming an exciting creative project for ourselves. We can totally do this. We spent the drive back just figuring everything out and coming up with ideas. Then we made plans to meet to do a business day.

The black cloud is gone. I had this creative block for such a long time. Gotta go!

I can do it!

2009-04-21T14:26:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been amazing. I don't know if it's just me or my little guy and me just realizing he's ready to click with it. We have been watching Potty Power vids and I'm a Big Kid Now propaganda has been in our home 24/7. I can do it. This is the motto. I have "let" my two year old put his socks on, take his shoes off, pick what he wants to eat (he has nutritional choices of course), etc. I was really holding on to the last two on the list of must dos. Potty in the Big Boy Pot & Sleep in the Big Boy bed. I have had the potty chair sitting there looming at me for several months now. I have the pull ups getting dust. I have the Big Boy bed propped up against the wall. It's just that once I did those last two things, he would be on his own. Well he still needs me to dress and feed him so who am I kidding. I just said hey lets go potty the yesterday and guess who just let it go. Yep. *Tear* We called everyone and gave them the "GOOD News". Then I got around to rearranging his room and putting his "Big Boy Bed" on the ground and decided I wouldn't put sheets on it yet. See what happens. He jumped on it and Daddy says the other evening, you want to sleep on there? He says "YEP". I said "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! in my head as I went to get the sheets.
He slept on it and didnt' even get up! That was one of my secret fears that I would not have control about sleeping in because he would wake up and look for me, but that didn't happen. The sweetheart still yells for me in the morning and waits for me to come get him out of bed!!!
So there you go. My little boy now. But it really is amazing and a joy to see him growing up and I know I'm going to be greatful that I got him out of diapers before I get the next little guy. If you are holding on, it's ok to let go. It's so fun. We all have to grow up with our children just as much as they do I guess.

Tea Party

2009-04-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday made history when groups of people from ALL WALKS OF LIFE made a statement by protesting in Tea Party all over the country. There was one here in Indiana that my relatives went to. The point was to express that the conservative movement was still alive and well and we were disapointed with how we are represented in both parties. The definition of conservative to me is a personal accountability for myself and my family. I take responsibility to pay my taxes, work for my needs, and I expect government to regulate not delegate my life. With the new administration there have been very clear cut things done and put into place that elude to a socialist movement. As well as a rising debt that has no relief for our children's children. My husband sent me this link and being a former person of news, I was disgusted. You can see for yourself but we have no opinion in news. We are supposed to be objective. An editorial, blog, or interview opinion is where we place how we feel personally. Not in a report for an event we were assigned to. I'm not saying just because she was covering something I was for, that I was ashamed, but in general for anything when I see a reporter showing clear disdain for a situation, this isn't the place.

http://www.eyeblast.tv/public/checker.aspx?v=ydSUqGSUaG

Instead of seeing what the real point of this event was, we only see that someone was against Obama which isn't even the point. But with any protest you are going to have a mixture of extreme opinions. Instead of focusing on that, she should've reviewed the entire point of the event.

Smells of Heaven

2009-04-15T18:30:00.000-07:00

If there were smells that heaven would smell like or a smell that causes happiness, it would be the following.

My Husband

I have this burning in my living room.

There are so many things in life that can set us off track. But these are the little things that can simply alter your mood or add to your happiness. I had the best day in my Mommy & Me class. I felt so fullfilled just by having the fellowship of these awesome women. They are funny, and spiritual women. I am just so glad that I have stuck with this. It's kept me happy in myself also.

Funny

2009-04-13T13:19:00.000-07:00

Even though Adam Lambert is my favorite for American Idol this year, I just thought it was really funny that while watching this latest performance my hubs tells me he sounds like Herbert the Pervert off Family Guy. We are regular watchers of this so I immediately start cracking up. It ruined the song for me. But if you want to see what I'm talking about I arranged them in succession so you can see for yourself.

Ok you listened to that...Now listen to this...Resemblance?

Family Guy Herbert Song @ Yahoo! Video

Easter Egg Hunts

2009-04-11T11:18:00.001-07:00

I promised pics of the buckets I made for my niece and nephew. I just painted them for an Easter present since it was Chloe's last hunt unofficially. haha. They had an awesome time. It was our two year old's first easter egg hunt ever and he loved it. Pics below.

Pretty Pretty Princess

2009-04-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

Ever since my sister moved home it has been so delightful. I cannot believe how much a part of me was missing since she was gone. She was in the Air Force every since high school. I have said this before that we shared a room and if we got mad at each other we couldn't go to sleep until we made up.

So yesterday my sister called me in the morning. It was one of those lonely stay at home mom days where I did not have any errands to run, no money to be impulsive with, and no projects currently on tap for me to mess up. We discussed what the other would be doing that day. She is staying home until she starts school in the summer. So this is the time where we can catch up and spend good moments together.

You know that part of you that is insecure that is like a black void that is really obnoxious? Well I have one. I hinted here and there to her that I could come over but she didn't catch the bait. She was cleaning her home that day. I had already cleaned.

I went to lay in my bed. What? Defeated so fast?
I told myself I wasn't going to let myself be like that and called her back crying.
She told me to get my butt over to her home. Then she said she had a prize for me.

My younger sister is saving me again! From myself. Anyway we went to the mall and she had this VS gift card and bought me some body spray that I really enjoyed!!
Spray along with lip gloss and lotions are my obsession. Yes I am a junkie.

Anywho is was an amazing fun day. Good Good.

Today I straightened my 2 year old's room and got it ready for the baby so he could get used to the stuff around his daily routine. I have the crib on one side and his little big boy bed on the other. Pics will come but not until it looks cool. I have a plan to paint a mural on his walls and that is when I will decide to put pics up of his room.

It's getting very dark outside. Today is going to be a girls day out for me, my sis, and our mutual gal pal. Yes we have one of those. She is amazing to how she handles both of us. Haha. The whole jealousy thing isn't there. It's like she is our third sister. I got a gift card from them at my baby shower to get my nails done so it's good times.

Till next time.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

Clean Freak

2009-04-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm feeling better, I decided to go shoppin' for a belt for my vacumn. I sucked up one of my 2 year old's toys one day and i knew I messed it up. It didn't suck right for 3 weeks I let it go. I used the hose to get the big stuff but my carpets have a layer of nuts, crumbs, and dust bunnies gathering to attack my nose. I took the plunge today and wrote the model numbers down and went on a trip. I got the best pic of my toddler on a john deer tractor but I dont' know how to put phone pics on here. Anyway I vacumned my heart out this afternoon and plucked some spring and brought it inside. I feel great. My new me of just doing things is really working out. I made easter buckets yesterday for my niece and nephew but of course my battery on my camera died so no pics of that until easter. In the meantime I hope you all enjoy this happy spring day.

Trippin'

2009-04-05T19:44:00.000-07:00

The past few days I have been in a funk. I relayed that earlier. It started I believe from lack of endorphins from working out. Today I went to church and I believe God had a message for me. Stop whining. Get up and just do something. I don't care what it is but don't talk yourself out of it. My friends just surrounded me this morning. I received a present for the baby of amazing little baby boy outfits. Then I received a jar of handmade lotion!!! One of my sisters made me lotion. It made my hands so soft too. And let me tell you this gal and her family are struggling. They are really struggling with her hubby's health. And she just made some lotion. Here I am tip top health, fine time for me to have quiet time, so what is my deal? Well I made myself look really pretty today. You know when I feel crappy I try to look the best I can on the outside. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to put heals on. I sang on the praise team this morning so after we were done I sat down and slipped off my shoes. When it was time for us to sing again I went to get up and I flew down smacked on my rear. I tripped over my shoes! The heals that I was afraid I might trip in, instead I tripped ON! It hurt my back so bad but it was hilarious.

I feel like it was really God sending me a message to wake up and smell the roses. Shut up and get going. Enjoy this time. I made a list of things to do that I would enjoy. Tomorrow I'm going to get started. We have an annual Easter egg hunt so I'm going to fill eggs with candy. Good times. Who cares if it's not brain surgery or something completely flabergasting going on. Just be still and know he is God.

Good times.

Bring the Funk

2009-04-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how much one little sidestep can totally knock you off your track. Ever since I pulled my side muscle and the doc told me I couldn't go work out, I have been depressed. But the rain is good sometimes. Sometimes we need it to wash over and get rid of all the dirt we have collected when all was well right? We don't notice how much it builds up until we have to take a bath. If I don't have something to do, I sit here and sulk. I know that's not right. But I don't know how to make up stuff.

If I see someone doing something and it seems like I can do it too, then I try. So I have been working on perserverence. Trying to stick to things for longer than quitting. Just keeping myself busy doing at least one thing I enjoy. I have been looking at different pictures and then I will try to make my house look like that. That's fun.

I started learning how to play the piano. I have always wanted to. Now I have the time.

When I took my 2 year old to the mall the other day while it was raining, I asked a lady if she was a stay at home mom. She said no, she works most days. There is nothing wrong with that. But I would really like to meet a stay at home mom and see what they do in a day. I need to know what you spend your time on. I am so used to having some kind of structure. Can I just be Que Sera Sera?? What will be will be and just enjoy this time?? I have the love of my life. I have a home. He has a great job. I have a healthy healthy boy. I am so blessed. But its hard sometimes just being normal. if that is what I am.

You know buying things, or going places is only temporary. We have to find happiness in ourselves. That is my goal. Reading scriptures, enjoying playtimes in the moment. Not waiting for the next thing. I think I have learned to master the time issue and just sit and enjoy...Listen to some music.

It's so weird to just have free time..It doesn't feel right. haha. Is it? haha.

Oh well. My sister saved me today and took me to the mall and we bought Yankee Candles. That made me happy for now.

Baby on Board

2009-03-31T07:52:00.000-07:00

To ring in Baby #2, my sister threw me a shower this weekend that was so nice! We enjoyed a strawberry cake, homemade bread, quiche, and several silly games. I already had a lot of things from having first baby, so I got diapers galore and wipes. It was awesome. It's nice to spend some time with friends. I joked that I must've had candy perfume on because the tripletts were there (my 2 year old's friends) and they were on my lap, sharing my chair, and following me wherever I went. It didn't bother me at all though. It was very endearing. Here are a few pics. It was so chaotic, I only got a few pics in. It means so much to have such wonderful people in my life. Thanks!

Sunburn,PB&J, & Aminals

2009-03-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

My sister recently moved into town from being out of town since we were in high school. It's been so wonderful having her around again.

We grew up sharing a bed or sleeping in the same room. It used to be if we were mad at each other we had to sort it out before we could go to sleep. We were tight. Well today we decided to take the kiddos and have a trip to the zoo. She starts school after being in the military in the fall so she has some free time with her children. It's amazing to spend my time with her. I love it.

Anyway we went to the zoo and had a blast. Here are some pics. We also went with our mom and our mutual friend Kim and her daughter. My sister's little guy and our friends little girl look like brother and sister. It's so cute.

Worthy Cause

2009-03-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

Every day we caught up in our every day junk..The thoughts that fill our minds, the irritations that we think are for real. Etc...All this goes to crap when I see a video like this one. Sara Groves is a singer and you may have well heard of her but I just discovered her tonight. I was asked to sing special music in two weeks at my church so I'm rummaging thru songs to find something that God wants to put in my heart for whomever needs it. That's my process so it's real.

Anyway I stumbled across this video but I know it was meant to put on here.

It reminded me of a mission trip I took to Mississippi right after Katrina hit the area in Gulfport. We took 14 youth kids down there and I had never been on a mission before. It was weird. One night I dreamt I needed to do it. I didn't think I could pull it off, but I went to my pastor anyway and suggested it as a thought that someone else could do. Then I left the meeting with a date and amount needed. Two weeks later we raised the money. We were off. I didn't even think the kids would come but they did. It really truly was if you build it they will come.

How many things do you shrug off that God puts on your heart however small? He gives us all gifts and sometimes out of fear or insecurity we shrug it off or find excuses to save us from it. Just do it. Nike says.

Well anyway here's the video.

Spring Fever.

2009-03-18T16:28:00.000-07:00

Today was amazing. I went outside after a great workout and got some much needed Natural Vitamin D. THE SUN! Our family finally raked all the leaves. We had a blast outside. My sister came over with her little guys and we let them jump into the leaves.

Myths Don't Work

2009-03-17T18:44:00.000-07:00

My hubs and I wanted to try for another child. We were the obnoxious ones that start and four months later we're pregnant again. No wondering or waiting on us. The second I'm off the pill, there was the double lines. So first of all to all of those moms out there who have to had a lot of patience, I don't have any. So that's probably why I didn't have to wait. I will learn patience another day. For another reason I'm sure.I really admire all those moms' out there who have had to endure many trials and you are superwoman!!!

When we were trying, it was fun because the first time we just got pregnant right off the bat. So we were really able to plan this one. When I found out I checked up on the chinese calendar and did some different myths like the string that swings whichever way.
All signs pointed that we would be having a girl. There was a group of people surrounding me saying I would be having twins. I wasn't fond of that thought. By no means am I saying we were upset. I didn't care either way.
So we went to the ultrasound today and first thing we see is little winkie. Yep.

A BOY.

But since we found out and I had said it would be fun to have a girl, some people went oohh are you upset? Or you can try again. I'm like no I'm soo happy with this. I don't mind what the sex is. ROCK ON BOYs!

I really am excited. I know it's such a blessing and our son is so amazing. He will only benefit from having a brother. They can bunk and we don't have to buy another house for a new room. We have all the clothes for the most part.

He is so beautiful. I know he will be amazing in his own special way. I was the girl who hung out with the guys growing up so why not have my family be surrounding me with guys? Love it.

Thanks for all your prayers and support.

Free Rice

2009-03-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

Since my 2 year old was up all night with a nasty cough, I decided I'm going to lay around today with him. I was thinking of my family and people and my niece popped in my head. She told me about this website called free rice. You go on this site and answer vocab questions. Every question you get right gives rice to kids who are hungry. Her teacher in school told the class about it and she wrote it down for me on a piece of envelope so when I'm sitting around with free time, I could do that. Isn't that so sweet? Anyway for those times when you have a spare minute and want to feed the hungry. Go here.

Bathroom REDO

2009-03-12T11:35:00.000-07:00

So my hubs and I moved into our home about a year ago and it's a 40's home so there are plaster walls, and it was all painted crappily white when we moved in. Lucky for me I have a friend who gave me some great deals on paint. So I have been busy trying to make it look homey. So far its as good as I can do. Of course I have been looking online at all of your beautiful homes so this is our home and I'm very happy with it and humble. I just love looking at before and afters so it was about time I put some of my own on. I also am on my computer for the first time so I have all my old pics. Usually I'm on my laptop. So here is my bathroom when I first fixed it up.

And here is the new latest version.
I didn't take a before pic of the closet because it was just a big mess without a door. The door was banging into the other door all the time so I was going to put a curtain on it until I saw this great idea in
Family Circle to do an open closet.

I can't find the pic but this is a great mag with tons of ideas for family and home decor.

My sister and I went to an antique shop finding all the glass containers, fabric is hung up on the bottom portion of the closet with cup hooks to hide laundry and vacumn. I spray painted (sadly first time doing so) the tins. They were bright hideous rusty blue to match. The box is a hat box.

Then the rest of the bathroom I found a little bird at Hobby Lobby for 80% off. Love it. That's what this brown thing is on the shelf. I don't have the best camera.

So there it is. I am very happy with it. Have a great day and good times making your homes your home.

To Kill A Mockinbird?

2009-03-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

This morning my hubby took my year long request to pick out his clothes the night before so he doesn't have to open the drawers five times and into the closet.
He was out the room in a second. Well then there is the issue of the QUaker.

When we were dating I knew about his bird that his most adored. A beautiful green parrot that could talk. She was very cute and endearing when she spoke. Other than that she was obnoxious. I didn't want that bird in my home, but I knew he loved her and I came to love her myself. Even though she has ear-splitting and nerve-wracking squawks all hours of the morning and in the middle of the day and at night.

At some point he told me, this noise I would tune out. Hmm..Three years later, still makes me cringe. Since I am home, it is an incentive to leave the house for her loud hours.

So this morning I've been battling a croupy cough I got from my little guy..That intense stuff that hurts your lungs that you just wish you could sleep off. Nope.
Not this morning. But guess what?
It wasn't the parrot or my hubby.

During the night with the storms, my hubs opened a window, so it was some kind of bird outside. Grrrrr...

Oh well. I went thru this whole ordeal in my mind that what if I had a bb gun to just make it go away. It was keeping me from having peace in my mind.
But then I started thinking of that movie with Sarah Jessica Parker where she tries to get Mathew Mcconnahey(spelling?) out of his parents house. Her roomate struggled with a mockingbird outside her window. She lost sleep and was at her wits end.

Well when she finally decided to get rid of it with a bb gun, she immediately was regrettful for her action. So my train of thought continues.
Once our parrot pulled a blood feather out of her side and was bleeding. My hubs and I were crying and called the emergency vet. They fixed it. That was when I knew I loved the stupid thing. So when I say I'm going to leave her out in the cold or things like that, I would never do it.

So here is my ultimate point that I'm finally getting to. If you are still reading, thanks for hanging with me this far.

How many times do we resent and get mad at the ones we love most in our lives? The ones who are always there because they love us, may get annoying. They may grate our nerves. How do we respond? It's not fair to lash out for our bad moods or insecurities. We must hold our tongues. We must remember that if they were ever gone, it would break our hearts and we wouldn't be the people we are without them.

So I say embrace the good with the bad and make sure to give yourself some time to unwind and recall the important loves.

Your Grace is Enough

2009-03-07T06:15:00.001-08:00

So I've been listening to this awesome contemporary christian station called KLOVE.
Since I am a SAHM, my 2 year old is always in the car wherever I go. Also sometimes with my hubby. The other night they came home and my hubby brought little guy over to the couch and said ok let us sing our song for mommy.

They sang Your Grace is Enough. It was sooooo cute, I cried.

So this morning he is walking around in his pj's hitting daddy saying "Your Grace is Enough". This is the life. How can you wake up in the morning wrong or in a bad mood when you have such a vibrant little life just expressing himself like that.

I have to go eat pancakes now that my hubs made..WOOT WOOT.

Thorns

2009-03-02T19:15:00.000-08:00

The Blessing of Thorns: This weekend's sermon included this story. It really touched me. I thought you would be touched as well...

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her shoes as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like a spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease.

During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose annual holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come.

What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder.

"Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered aloud. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?"

The shop clerk's approach startled her.

"I....I need an arrangement, "stammered Sandra. "For Thanksgiving?
The blessing of thorns is just what you need. Now here my story.

Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the Thanksgiving Special?" asked the shop clerk.

"I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued

"Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. " Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi Barbara...let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses.

Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped...there were no flowers.

"Want this in a box?" asked the clerk.

Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers!?! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed. "Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile.

"You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said as she gently tapped her chest.

"Uhh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uhh... she just left with no flowers!"

"Right...I cut off the flowers. That's the Special... I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet.

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that?" exclaimed Sandra.

"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling very much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery."

"That same year I had lost my husband, "continued the clerk," and for the first time in my life, I had to spend the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel.

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra. "I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly. "I've always thanked God for good things in life and never thought to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important.

I always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others.

"Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her."
I guess the truth is I don't want comfort.

I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop.

"Hey, Phil!" shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man.

"My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement ....twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra doubtingly. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?

"No...I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem.

He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from "thorny" times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks to Him for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too... fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time.

Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?" asked Sandra.

"Nothing." said the clerk.

"Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me. "The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra.

"I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you'd like to read it first."

It read:

"Dear God, I have never thanked you for my thorns. I have thanked you a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to you along the path of pain. Show me that,through my tears,the colors of your rainbow look much more brilliant."

Real World Junkie

2009-02-26T13:37:00.000-08:00

I just have to say one of my special times in my life is to watch "my shows". This usually consists of me curling up with my laptop while my little one watches his morning shows.

It's my time to let my brain go into a mush phase. It's a type of meditation for me. My hubby usually makes fun of me when I get in this zone and wonders why I don't spend my time doing something constructive.
Wel..........................l today was a constructive time.

I am reading this book "For Women Only". It's amazing. It's a book that gives you an insight into what guys are thinking. A thing that seems to elude me at times.
So last night I'm reading a couple chapters of this book just laughing. I can't believe how simple and how many "duh" moments I had. You'll have to read it to understand.

So here I am reading about guys. One key thing I picked up was that "Women want to feel loved. Guys want Respect." They would prefer feeling unloved rather than feeling disrespected. So based on this, while I was watching the "Real World: Brooklyn", the episode gave me a direct example of girls disrespecting guys, over and over and over again. Until finally the guys in the episode got so angry, one of them broke a table. But lets not be too hasty to believe or quick to judgement that the guys are the jerks here.

They had cleaned up the apartment for several weeks to no end without the help of their female roomies. When they quietly and politely asked them several times to clean up their respective messes, the girls would smirk or laugh it off or whatever, then proceed to call the guys jerks and immature. It was just so simple.

These situations present themselves to all of us I'm sure. To me for example with my man, he wanted to build a bookshelf in our home. Immediately I said no. He had never done anything like that before. Why would he be able to do that and it was going to be a nonstop mess that I would have to look at. Before I freaked, I should've thought about how that made him feel. Inadequate and disrespected. Duh. I told him to go ahead and kept my natural impulse to hide the hammer to myself. He built us a very beautiful bookcase that really adds to our home.

So maybe if you are confused about why your significant other gets so angry, it might be a simpler way to diffuse those things and keep them happy. They do so much for us.

Anyway pick up this book. It's amazing so far.

Also I am sharing this with you because I enjoy talking and having serious discussions after viewing these shows. I am a junkie. I laugh at myself when I am discussing or saying things while I am watching the shows. You do it too! Haha. It's not out of hand. I only do it once a week.. And also this week I painted my bathroom pantry. So I don't just sit around and watch shows. I do this also while little guy is napping so don't go getting judgemental on me. Haha.
My other guilty pleasure shows:
The Office
The City
The Hills
24
House
Jon & Kate Plus 8

Prego got the STRAP

2009-02-17T17:11:00.000-08:00

Do you still want everything to stop and all hands to be on you when you wake up sick?

When I was growing up if I was sick I even had friends who would read me books while I rested.

Now its a question game to see if you are really sick.

When I'm sick...I get SICK!

When my hubs and I were dating, I got a stream of sickness that lasted for three months straight. Haven't been sick since then. Until now......................

So here I am. I wake up a little out of it and my left tonsil is swollen. Still have to change baby and play with him while laying on the floor. Still have to sing at church. Still have to figure out how to get the laundry done that day. The next day. Right tonsil hurts. Left tonsil is better.

I get some halls.

Then I go to sleep and wake up all swollen and hot and sweaty and can barely talk. My head is pounding and my whole entire body aches. I squeak to my hubs that he's gonna have to get my 2 year old out of the house for the day. He asks me why. I don't reply.

I sleep for 30 minute intervals. Wake up drink some water. Sweat. Freeze. Sweat.. Eat a cracker. I'm pregos so I can't take anything. I have some sore throat spray that I numb my throat with and my savior during this time. ...Tylenol...

Today...I wake up and I feel great. Nope. Sike. My tylenol just hadn't worn off yet and I look into the mirror at my throat. I have two grapefruits back there and a pearl coated wall.

Hubs makes me some breakfast that I drink and we head to the doc.

I drink some G on the way. Great revitalizer.

Doc looks at me and says good thing you caught this. It's all the way down in your throat and could've hurt your baby. No kidding?

So I get some scripts and yogurt. You got to eat yogurt ladies on antis or else you'll get some nice present downstairs..NO FUN there. Doc reminded me that. I was grateful.

So I slept and then when I woke up I was feeling a lot better. Enough to tell my tales of the last few days. So hopefully the next few days I can wrestle this beast of the strap on my throat like my nephew likes to say.

Pray healing rain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loves...liz

SAHM You can be too!

2009-02-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

When my hubby and I were dating three years ago, we would spend long hours in discussion regarding family and our life that we each wanted to have.

His life consisted of having a family, and nurturing it with a good job and lots of values and love.
My path consisted of me having a family alone and having an incredible lucrative career with lots of parties. That was when we were 22.

When we dated we decided to wait till marriage to be together. Also we decided together that we could stay home with our children and raise them. With that I had a lot of issues at first. I thought that wasn't possible. I really did think any marriage I entered wouldn't work. Rightly so b/c we tend to follow and believe we will repeat our parents statistically. I didn't even realize how silly that was at the time but I could live my own life. Change the course of the path I was going.

I just assumed since it happened to my mom and I looked up to her and she was soo smart and an amazing independent woman and she raised three kids by herself that I would do the same thing or at least I was prepared to.

Well my hubby convinced me after much frustration that I could stay at home and it wasn't a horrible thing. I was like well what will I do? It was scary to take that step and really when I agreed to it, I didn't think it would happen. For some reason I thought that we wouldn't have kids for a long time or not at all. So I wouldn't worry about it.

Well good thing we waited for marriage because 4months after getting married we were pregnant. When I was pregnant it was so much fun. I was really peaceful thru the entire thing.
I was working my "dream job" at the time and it turned out it wasn't so dreamy.
I guess thru my entire college and before that I pictured that my identity was inside of the job I held. In fact, it isn't. It's in your character and actions every day. You can do so much with what God gifts you. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to have a "career".

Believe me I heard everything from you're wasting your brain, your education is worthless. It was tough. Especially after I had my first, I would go places and even family gatherings and people would ask what are you doing now. I would say proudly staying home with my son. They would just move on to someone more interesting. I am interesting. I believe anyway. Haha.

I just wanted to explain that there is a way for everyone to stay at home if you want to. You have to redirect your wants and needs and prioritize your finances. We still go out from time to time and we pay bills.

You have to have a budget and plan.

It's a little sacrifice for a huge gain. My 2 year old can recognize all his letters, his numbers thru 20 and he is even starting to read. I am not wasting my intelligence by sitting with him.
It's not all sitting around watching elmo and listening to his toys either.

You can go to museums with other moms and while your kids play you can discuss things going on in the world or whatever.

Just think of waking up in the morning, going to workout, and having a clean house you have plenty of time to decorate it. Laughing and not missing out on any of your son's first moves.

I had a friend who worked in a daycare who let me know if a child did something for the first time, they wouldn't tell the family. I personally would want to know for sure.

Now that's just us. I'm not saying this is for everyone and everyone should do it and if you send your kids to daycare you are terrible. I personally understand that this is a option. And I want to establish the case that it is possible for everyone if you try it.

What got me on this today was my hubby got an email asking what are some good daycares b/c daycares these days cost just as much as a house payment. When he told the person that we stay at home they said they were jealous and wish they could because of all the benefits.

You can do it! That also reminded me that when we were deciding while we were dating way before we even had children, the work issue would give us 50 extra bucks a month. If I worked also and we had to put them in daycare, that is all that would be adding. So the weight of that doesn't balance out to warrant that. I can always go back to work in a couple years. I can research and figure out what I really want to do.

with love.

Toddler Resume

2009-02-10T16:07:00.001-08:00

I cannot believe how much personality my 2 year old has these days. I encourage all my moms out there to make up a resume of what your kid(s) would submit. I think this would be really funny and also interesting to see what level your kid is at for things they know how to do. We may forget to put it in the baby book. After the first couple of things like teeth coming in and what not I personally have let the book collect dust. So here is the resume of my 2 year old.

Talents:
I can tell my mommy when I have to poop or have pooped.
I can roll, bounce, and throw a ball or other objects for that matter.
I'm very persistant. IE: When I want something, I throw things at mommy, or I can do a mean whine or stare if the situation calls for it.
I can open up any iphone application including but not limited too, writing emails to wbrksgkal, my animatch game, etc.. Reference upon request on this one.

Awards:
Best singer of ABC's, Elmo's song, Veggie Tales Theme song, and Golden globe in parroting my mommy and daddy. Careful there kiddos.

I'm still learning every day and am definitely a sponge for all you have for me.
May i color a picture for you to hang on your fridge?

He's amazing isn't he? Haha.

Our Valentines

2009-02-09T06:45:00.000-08:00

In pursuit of Valentine's day arrival, I've been thinking of my hubby a lot more than usual. At the beginning arent' our guys all we think about? Then come the babies who demand a little more of my time. Then there is the new baby on it's way and the sickness has kind of made me a little on the self-absorbed time. So here I am considering my hubby and the approaching day that is funny but it started out from very odd beginnings. I dare you to go look up the root of V-day and see how it all began. It was a raffle for mates. So hilarious. But it's PG-13...

But back to my man. I really have to give a big HELL YA to all the men out there who choose to be a man. My personal definition based on my personal knowledge, is this..

A man: A guy who provides for his wife. Who sets out every day to care for his family thru his actions. (This is the key ladies and what we get tricked on sometimes) He chooses each day to take on such incredible pressure that he believes if he doesn't succeed his family won't either.

Sometimes we forget what our men are internally dealing with. They don't seek approval from their friends like us woman. They need us to nurture them just as much as we nurture our other relationships. If not our nurturing to them is the most important. We are the center of our households and we hold an incredible spindle. Which way will your lean? Toward a happy family or a frustrated negative one?

We are loved by our men's actions. What have they done for you lately? Did they spend their day off getting all the sticks chopped up in little bundles neatly beside the road? Did they take out the trash? Did they fix dinner for you because you were sick? Well those are some of the things my man did for me. I appreciate him so much. He wrestles with my son every night and even sings him to bed sometimes.

So this V-day if you have a significant other, give them major props.

A good day

2009-02-07T13:51:00.000-08:00

The weather was amazing today. Short sleeve shirt kind of day. No jackets. It was weird. I found my sidewalk b/c the ice melted. I didn't have to skate to the car. When I woke up I was sick but I went to the pharmacy to fill my phengren. That stuff helps but it makes me so tired.

My hubby took me to get a new haircut and I just love it. It makes me feel "sassy". Like Roxy would say .."wink".

After a visit with my nan, she just had hip replacement surgery we went back home to clean up some of the debris still in our yard. Oh well. Less limbs that carry leaves for next fall eh?

It was just fun to be outside soaking up the fresh air. I opened all the windows in the house. I always love to get that fresh air in and the pent up musty air out. I even put a soup on the crockpot for a seven hour cook.

Go me!
I attacked the pile of clothes that was starting to spread out into the living room.

Hmm.Oh and I cleaned my car out. I literally had a garbage bag filled with my 2 year old's toys. He brings one with him every time we got somewhere and not always am I able to get him and his toys. So that was nice.

Tonight I watch my friends tripletts so she can have a girls night out. It's been long overdue.

Good times.

Did you have a good day with this weather? i feel like I'm a weather person. If the sun isn't out, I'm not either.

Tag..Your IT!

2009-02-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

I got tagged. Sixth photo in sixth folder. This was easter last year. My three dollar Walmart sweater. Lex's outfit was the cutest. This was also right after we moved to our new house. If you can look closely behind me you can see a door off the hinges. My hubby has since put the door on but we still have the closet door to contend with. Good times. We bought an older house so all the doors had retired. I love this precious moment. He's so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now muhahah. i tag thee. To continue.....don't cheat.

1. Crystal's Blog
2. Jaimie
3. Ruckamuck

Baby Names

2009-01-31T19:39:00.000-08:00

The past week has been insane. Its amazing how vulnerable you feel when you lose power. Then you realize it's cold. So much so that you cannot stay in your home. We had my Nan's two bedroom apartment to retreat too during the power outage. She had hip surgery so we had a bed to sleep in. It was amazing how many people could sit in one place for three days.

I was ready to go home when our neighbor called to say her power was back on. I was so grateful.
When we got home I gave my 2 year old a much needed bath. He was playing with his toys and I walked in to sit with him. I reminded him that Mommy was gonna have a baby. I showed him my belly and he said "Baby sister". I didn't coax him to say that by the way. He has said it from the beginning so we'll see if it's a girl. We haven't found out yet.

Anyway I decided I would pass by him the names we had come up with . I just came up with girl names so far. So I said would you like Evelyn or Zoey. He said NO, ELMO!

(I'll pause here so you can laugh).

Seriously I thought he just didn't understand what I asked so I asked him again. Evelyn or Zoey. He said Elmo. So that's official. haha.

But He did like Zoey in the end. So maybe it will be Zoey maybe it will be something else. Ie Boy.

On a freezing day, GO SWIMMING!

2009-01-27T20:03:00.001-08:00

This morning waking up to an icy wall and frozen world outside my cozy abode, I figured it would be a pj day. Cozy in my slippers with hot chocolate and rice krispy treats. Nope. My hubby thought it would be an awesome and perfect opportunity to go swimming. Sure why not? The windows on my car have an inch of ice on them. I feel like swimming!!

So we bundled up and stripped down and went swimming in the 85 degree pool at the Y. Yep.
There were actually other people swimming today also. Lex was so cute in his little swimmers. He would go under the water and say GOTCHU when he jumped on me.

We had a blast and I'm so glad I got some good excercise in. It was so relaxing and very spontaneous. We didn't even fall on our butts going back to the car afterwards. But Lex did. He slipped. I caught him tho.

So the rest of the day we chased each other around the house while my hubby worked from home. So nice.

Adam is a Dust Bunny

2009-01-26T14:48:00.000-08:00

This weekend I went out on an excursion with my brother and sister. A feat we hadn't done together in three years. My sister brought her five year old and we were staying in the same room.
One morning he was talking ot me while I was getting ready and asked..

"Aunt Liz, what are those grey fuzzy things in the window?"
I tell him they were dust bunnies.
He asked what were those?

After thinking about it on his level, I say you know when you scratch your arm and it flakes sometimes and if you notice flakes off your scalp or when the sun shines in the window you see little particles flowing thru the air. Well those all come together in a ball if not cleaned up in vacumming and they collect into a ball called a dust bunny.

He seemed to be satisfied with that description. From that, he says, so where did humans come from.

I think a minute and give the answer that he came from his mom. He said yes I know we come from our mommies. I am saying where did the first human come from.

I was dumbfounded. A child of such innocence asks such a strong profound question.

I tell him the first human came from God.
He says so God was a human??
I said well it's hard to wrap your head around specifically what God is. I would say he is a spirit that is in everyone and everything. He is the big voice in the sky. Etc.

God made the first human out of dust. His name was Adam. Then he took Adam's rib and made Eve. Then Adam and Eve together made the first children. And so on and so on.

So he was putting that together. He says so does God have superpowers?

I said yes, I guess he does.

He says what is God's superpower.

I tell him God's superpower is LOVE.

He says so when you get the goosebumps on your arms and you get really happy to be around your mom, that is God?

Yes. It's Love.

So after we were talking about all this. I pondered over all that was discussed.
I came to the conclusion that Adam is a dust bunny. He came from the dust and God put him together from it.

Amazing Grace

2009-01-26T14:39:00.000-08:00

I had the best most wonderful day today. It was so fullfilling.

I woke up with a plan. I wasn't sick. First plan was to not be sick.

Went to work out at this new mommy and me class and it was so great! I broke a sweat and got red in the face. That's when I know I did my job and the instructor brought it.

It was very inspiring to see all these women who just had kids and they look hot! I was happy to see that in my future. To be healthy and hot. Simple.

Then I took lunch with a pastor of mine and she was so encouraging to me. You can spend your time doing one of two things. Encouraging or criticizing. I choose the first one. So should everyone.
Why criticize or point out flaws?

Anyway it was a great day all around. I wasn't even sleepy when I got home so I was able to have some free time for myself while baby took nap.

Usually I sleep to and that really robs me of my me time.

We all need it ladies don't we?

Anyway I will work on being more encouraging in my blog also.

Sick ..Again

2009-01-21T09:07:00.001-08:00

So our little family is expecting again. This should be our final endeavour at creating life.
So far I've been sick most of my first 9 weeks of pregnancy. Mom's out there does it ever stop? With my first one I was only sick for 2 weeks and moving on to the glowing phase.
Right now I can barely stop hugging my porcelain "God". Haha. Takes me back to college days.
Anyway with the sickness is an incredible depression that is really tough to take on with a little guy wondering around at home.
I have split up the days of cold and cabin fever for him by movies, random outings, and playdates.
For me I stick to lying on the bed watching random shows. So one of these days of sickness and they last all days folks, I was dozing while reading a magazine and I hear from my little guy

"TWO EGGS".
I jumped out of bed and looked down at my 2 year old holding two fresh eggs he retrieved from the fridge. Here is my little man banging the two eggs on a friend's printer my husband was trying to fix.

"TWO EgGS MOMMY".
Yes honey two eggs, that's right..Are there any other eggs?
We put them back in the fridge safe.
Later that evening when I was attempting to straighten and days lost of housework, I stumbled across an eggshell. I picked up my magazine from earlier and found the escapee. The yolk was working it's way into my carpet for a good stain that will last.

As a memory always "TWO EGGS".

A Theme

2009-01-05T13:34:00.000-08:00

I'm getting a strong theme in America these days regarding our children.
It appears there is a sense of disdain and misunderstanding when our blessed ones arrive in our midst.

A little one comes into our world, maybe more than one we decide. It's great at first and sometimes it's not. There is a point and this happens to more than just me because I've had freinds who tell me. But you say I am living for this human being. For at least the next 18 years, this is my responsibility to keep happy, healthy and loved.

You are your childrens' first teacher. We teach them finance, love, everything about life. So why does this come off to us as a trap we set for ourselves? Why is there this theme that keeps coming up in our culture, in talk shows etc? It appears under the vice of where is our time? Our time?
It's your family now. You can make priorities.

I'm talking about when there are these things said that you don't have time left for yourselves because it's all spent on the kids. I can't wait to get away to work.
We can't pay the bills because I'm trying to pursue my dreams.
One of those dreams can include kids right?

There was a story about a family that was trying to pursue their dream while they could barely make ends meet with four children at home. It was suggested the mom get a part time job and maybe they only keep the dream open for a few days a week.

Our children only are with us in our midst under our guidance for a season. And then they are on their own. How do we want to spend that time?
Struggling? We don't have to. It's all about your planning, and attitude. You can adjust your attitude. I did.

When I first was married, I was very selfish and I still am at times. I didn't think I had to stay home with my kid. Why couldn't my husband do that. I didn't have to wash the dishes or do the laundry. But guess what happened when I did do those things? My family was calm. My husband had a smile. He and I have a brilliant relationship. He gives me back more than I could ever imagine because I do just a few things a day. With a happy heart. Resentment is terrible.

So it didn't happen overnight. I just realized I was being silly. Don't be a slave to our culture and what it assumes is best for you. Realize how you need to live. Then do it.

Everywhere Christians

2008-10-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

I subscribe to "The Voice of the Martyr". A Christian publication that comes to my email. It tells me sometimes what horrendous acts are being done on Christians overseas in other countries where it's not free to practice Christianity. I just think of our youth and how easy it is for them to come to our events at the church. How easy it is to talk about your faith, your fears, express your passions and ambitions here in America. We can decide not to go to church. That baffles me. The extreme difference and what we take for granted every day. We have loving mentors, people who spend countless hours working on lessons for Sunday school. We may sleep in. Or come up with nine other priorities that are more important.

Difference. : A man and his wife are axed because they profess they are Christians in India.
The man loses his life. What is that wife doing in icu thinking? There are homes burned down, all over other countries. Some day its going to get to that point here in America. Some day we won't be able to have the freedom to say I believe. So take every moment and pray for those people who risk their lives and lose them. They are so grateful to be missionaries to send God's word all over. There isn't much time left. So lets learn all we can.

Love
Liz

Homeschooling

2008-10-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

The word presents a problem. Immediately our culture today deems kids who are at home, unsocial. Not adept to handle social interaction and pressures of kids today. Hm..I think we've been fandangled. I read an extremely helpful article in Family Circle this month's issue with an inside look to a family that was successfully homeschooled. That being that all three kids had achieved 90 percent or higher on their standardized tests. So that being said the mom also attempts to take her kids to social clubs and cheerleading stuff like that. No problem.

I'm working on deciding whether I would like to homeschool my child. I think first of all I consider whether or not I'm able to do it. The patience thing. Also will I be out of the workforce to long to get myself back in. Nonsense. Those are all silly thoughts. Well they are my thoughts, but when I evaluate the value behind actually spending time with my child in his education, I think that's not a far-fetched idea. Especially if my husband makes it available for us financially to do so.

The other thing I was thinking of was my personal public education. I believe I stopped learning in middle school. I just clammed up and never learned another thing unless it was on my own.
My grades went down and that was too much for me. I couldn't imagine not getting a b. For some reason my male-chauvenist science teacher didn't like me, so I got my first C. After that I just stopped paying attention. Then while everyone in my math class seemed to be feverishly scratching away at their math homework I raised my hand for help and never got any. I wasn't a football player who had a game to play in. If he didn't get a good grade on the test, he wouldn't play. No need for extra tutoring. That didn't help either. How come when I took a test, I could get placed in advanced classes, but when I sat in with the actual teachers, I couldn't figure it out.

When I would come home crying with my math book or my science book, my mom would coax me and tell me it was ok. She told me I just learn differently. Like her. She was left-handed as well. When she explained something to me, I just got it. No pressure, no worries. I was free to learn. And I did. So I was able to complete my assignments and get thru school.

When I reached high school, that was another thing altogether. Whether or not I was pregnant. That truly was the only way to have any friends was to be going to parties to drink, or have sex. I wasn't interested in that, so I hid in the guidance office and typed out scholarship apps for college. I looked forward. It was so awkward for me in high school.

So here's a thought. This comes from this article I read in the Family Circle. Her son was in parochial school and they wanted him to learn about religion as well. He was given detention and withdrawn from school even though he was smart. So they tried homeschooling him as an alternative. Thats how they ended up making the choice ultimately. They teach the kids through unconventional methods, for example they read books they choose to learn about history and literature. That's interesting. Then the oldest learns a new language each year. He picks. Then has pen pals thru those languages to practice. I can't come up with a better way to apply it other than doing it. That's such a great idea.

So maybe we things that don't come natural doesnt' always mean they aren't the best and making a little sacrifice may make all the difference in the world whether our children grow up believing they are ignorant or just can't learn.

Maybe this is one reason why we have low scoring schools and everything because us as parents are dropping the ball. We assume our kids will be well-adjusted and learn the important things they need in class. Well then why do we spend the least amount of time with the things that are most important. Or should be? We pay our teachers and our caretakers of our elderly the least amount in our society. That's just crazy. I say we stand for a change on this. Just think about it. Make a consideration. Whether you decide to homeschool. I'm personally still deciding or whether we should spend more time with our children when they get home .

And another thing..Barack Obama

2008-09-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

Since I"m talking about McCain and Sarah Palin obviously I would like to point out that I have yet to see on YaHoo at the top of their main news, any interviews blatantly charging forward on Joe Biden. Does he not exist as well? Or does he get a sweeping invitation VIP pass to go forward and be coddled by the media. Yep that's what it is. I would have to search to find anythign on him. Also I was happy to see that Barack Obama went on O'Reily the other night. I was looking forward to hearing some real points and observations and beliefs come from that. All I ended up getting was a waiting. Waiting for him to say something. I'm still waiting to hear any specifics. I am just not sure what he's for. If someone has info on this where he isn't generalizing or saying he is for Change. WHAT CHANGE? What reform? This is politics and I understand that is the general sense of what we get. But I got specifics on Sarah Palin in her speeches. She talks about selling the jet when she became governor. She talks about getting rid of the chef. These are specific things that elude to her actions. What will Obama do in certain situations? I know he is for Universal Healthcare. That sounds beautiful an all. But how will that happen?

Who else has Universal Healthcare? Oh yeah Canada. Hmm. I'd like to hear from people from there how wonderful their system works. Specifically I've looked up and watched some things on that where you have to wait a very long time to get served.
Less government is better. We've seen this. Why doesn't this make sense to everyone. Just because it's not popular opinion doesn't mean it's not the right way.

Sarah Palin Interviewed by Charlie Gibson Response

2008-09-12T16:19:00.001-07:00

So. I've been watching the latest interviews with Sarah Palin being given by Charlie Gibson.
You know I'm all about an objective viewpoint in news and getting all sides an opportunity.
This blatant interview is so frustratingly attacking. It's not an interview. He doesn't listen.
I listen. If you interview someone usually you have a question following something specifically they said. He was listening for key words that he already planned ahead in his head to follow on.
For example. The part where she is speaking in her own church about her son going overseas. I wanted to cry because my little brother is over there right now.

Anyway she said it was a task from God. He took that and ran with it saying in his head that he thinks she is going to take the whole country and FORCE GOD DOWN THEIR NECKS. No seperation between church and state. ON the View today this was brought up as well.

They both very eloquently say God is a part of them. He is inside their spirit. That is how we believe. It doesn't mean they won't consider other options or viewpoints when they are taking people into consideration. They want to do what is best for the country based on their viewpoint.
So why isn't that allowed? It seems as tho if you believe in God and are open about it, that you shouldn't be allowed to serve the country? This is the theme that keeps resurfacing. It doesn't make sense to me.

Our founding fathers based the constitution on their beliefs. We say Under God. In God we trust. Are all those not allowed because they are offensive? I dont' get it.

Oh well. At least these interviews show us how strong she is when people do come at her. She can obviously handle herself. If it were me, honestly I would probably get a quiver in my lip. She shows no weakness as far at that goes. So at the end of the day interviews like these should make me happy not irritated. I just wish the media would ask questions and then move on . Not batter people with questions.

God's Holy Fire

2008-09-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

I see such a fire for our Savior. Just creeping out everywhere. THe song ALL GOD"S CHILDREN SINGING GLORy GLORY Hallelujah he reigns. That is the theme song of our day.

You may not see it on the news. Do you feel it with your friends? It seems as though people are coming back from places I thought I'd lost them to. A person very close to me tonight shared with me that she is free. This is it. You have the power to Unlock the kingdom of heaven here on earth. It's there for you. The bible shows you. Take it. Hold it. Unlock peace in your heart, your mind.

Enjoy being God's children here on earth! Don't wait for him to take us to heaven. Share his message. Give people a smile. Don't worry about figuring everything out. Jesus showed love. By showing it in his actions. Do it now!

Sarah Palin ROCKS!

2008-09-06T19:56:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to put that out there for anyone who wasn't sure about my opinion about the latest nominee for Mccain's VP. I'm pumped ladies. Speaking for moms everywhere, Sarah Palin is the epidemy of everything a mom who is intelligent should stand for. A woman who is humble but knows when to stand up. She isn't arrogant. She is gracious and intelligent. When I heard her speak in her opening speech, she gave me chills. I got a forward the other day that was asking for prayer for her and her church. Apparently she went before her church before the announcement she would be the VP, and asked them to pray over her and her family. I think that is truly great. I relate to her because I can see common sense. She sees a problem and fixes it. She doesn't add a bunch of bologna in the middle. I love it. I don't care. I"m just gushing with happiness because you can't say anything bad about her to me. Hahahahaha. I'm just so full of glee. haha.
I especially enjoy this verse below. It just shows why I could feel my holy spirit when she spoke.

----------
“Among leaders who lack insight, abuse abounds, but for one who hates corruption, the future is bright” --Proverbs 28:16

9-3-08 Please pray for Sarah Palin and her church...
Hi, I received this today from a new EM (Executive Ministries) staff woman. I think you will find it encouraging and informative.
Do pray... Thanks, Wendy (A Wheaton Grad. - friend of the Miller s)
------------
Greetings to all!
I'm a little embarrassed that this is my first EM Staff prayer request, but here goes!
Our pastor here is Bigfork , Montana , Hal Curtis, is friends with the pastor of Sarah Palin's pastor in Wasilla , Alaska . His name is David Pepper and the church is Full Gospel Church of Wasilla, AK.
Three days before Gov. Palin was announced by John McCain as his choice for VP, she came before her pastor to be annointed and prayed over for service to God. She didn't tell the church what was going on....just that she needed their prayer support.
During the few days since the announcement, the pastor and the church have been bombarded with questions from the media. They are trying to get the word out to Christians all over the nation to pray for God's protection of Sarah Palin and of their church. They suspect that the treatment of Jeremiah Wright will pale in comparison to what is coming their way as a conservative Christian body.
When the little Down's Syndrome baby of Todd and Sarah Palin was dedicated a few months ago, their statement to the congregation was "This little boy is my pro-life statement." According to David Pepper, Todd and Sarah are very strong in their faith in Jesus Christ and believe God has put them in this position to serve Him.
Let's remember to pray for Gov. Palin and her family as they walk through this very trying time!
Thank you so much! Vicky Creamer

p.s. Please pass this request on to other prayer warriors!

ZZZZZZZZZAppp

2008-08-09T20:49:00.000-07:00

I just have to say tonight would have been reality show gold. It was hilarious. I started out the day getting my hair highlighted. The hairdresser asked me have anything big up today? What kind of question is that for a stay at home mom? Well lets see. Do you really want to know? I'm going to have snack time at 9:30. Spend time reading books we got. Practicing writing our ABCs. And then it's on to lunch of figuring out what he'll eat. Will it be mashed carrots? Or quesadillas? Or will I get an Eww at the end of this sweaty canvas of lunchmaking. Seriously. That's how it feels sometimes.
But I didn't say any of that. I just told him. No. Just spending time with my son. My life is great.
Such a blessing. So we took a nap went to church. Hung out with my mother'inlaw. Good times.
Come home. About 9:30 p.m. doorbell rings. What the heck? We never get visitors this late. My next door neighbor is telling us something is wrong in our backyard. What could it be?

The power line was one fire! That's right. The power line was on fire!
So I asked my husband oh so eloquently. What should we do?
He responds....CALL 9-1-1.
The numbers that elude us anytime we actually need it.

Did you notice that? When he proposed tome ..I mean my husband, I watched countless proposal stories. When the time came, I knew I would be oh so suave. NO I WASN"T. I went Oh MY GOD<> WOW>

So here I am. I run in. Stumble aroudn for my phone. Thinking if I should get my son and hold him for dear life. I have the window open as we speak. Just checking now and then. GRRRR. I didn't ask the guy if there was something we need worry about til they can get to it on MONDAY.

So I call 9-1-1..It rings. Rings....I say. Hi Liz at my address....Then I say there is a small fire on the powerline behind our house. ABout 2 inches in diameter. Is that even right????

Haha. So he says the fire department are on their way. WOOT WOOT> They are about 40 seconds literally away from us.

So there they are. So exciting. I was hardly able to contain myself. What a big end to my day.
This burly headed guy comes up to me and they are all surveying the fire as it plumes and enjoys itself up there on the line.

I say what will you do. He says...well we're going to spray it. I say isnt' that dangerous. He says yes well we'll use a FOG stream. That way not a direct line of water.

I was like oooh a fog stream. this is complicated stuff. I said be careful! Thank you for your service.

So they sprayed it. It went out. Sheesh.

Then our electric company came out. This dude was awesome. I was so laughing at him. He was a comedian for sure.

So he comes up on the scene. We directed him. He started his flashlight. It being dark and all.
He isn't saying anything so I'm offering all my knowledge. So the fire department came. They sprayed a fog stream.

He says...They sprayed A WHAT??

I said they sprayed a fog stream.

He says. THe fire department is stupid.

Haha. That's just dangerous. I said Yes they said that. Haha.

So he found the culprit. Apparently you aren't supposed to let trees grow around the powerlines. Go Figure.

He said their company takes care of that though. Silly.

My husband just said hey I'm watching the Olympics in here by myself. You're the one who said you wanted to watch them together. I just had to write this though so there.

Anyway...So it all started with a tree limb. Be careful. If you notice your branches growing into your powerlines, go ahead and call your electric department.

Then the guy tells us and I think thsi is very valuable info.

That a local guy and his son died b/c they attempted to get a burning tree limb off the powerline as it was burning with a 2 X 4. This si wood. And that is just as much as a conducter. So if that happens just call the fire departmetn. Dont' try to do it yourself.

The Bible: A Kids Perspective

2008-08-08T13:24:00.000-07:00

I got this from a forward thru email. Author-Unknown

Through the eyes of a child:

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start,

there was Nothing but God, darkness, and some gas.

The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think

He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.

Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked,

But they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been

Invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad

Apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.

Not sure what they were driven in though,

because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long

As he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah,

who lived To be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy,

But one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a

Large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked

Some other people to join him, but they said they would

Have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more

Famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his

Birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son

Named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was

Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt

And away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on

Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice,

Bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.

Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments.

These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your

Neighbor's' stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more:

Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first

Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol

and The fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a

Giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had

About 300 wives and 500 porcupines.

My teacher says he was wise,

But that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.

One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale

and then Barfed up on the shore. There were also some

minor league Prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry

about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament.

Jesus is the Star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.

(I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always

saying To me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?'

It would Be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like

The Pharisees and the Republicans.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus.

Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even

Preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before
Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed

his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.

He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the

Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

A Bright-mare

2008-07-31T04:15:00.000-07:00

It's pretty sad when a Dream has to WAKE ME UP!

How many of us woman blame everything else but ourselves?
If you look at a happy newly engaged couple, they are vibrant, cuddly, in each others faces. It's kind of enough to make us puke. But remember we were there once too. How long does it take for those initial lust endorphines to fade away?

This is what I'm talking about ladies. The minute that ends, it's up to us to keep our minds in the right places. I have veered. I began to believe I wasn't good enough, stopped getting my hair done. Stopped working out. Stopped looking at my husband the way I used to. Why? Because he was mean to me? No I had no excuses but my own. I hate my excuses. They are so easy to get wrapped up in to focus on instead of the truth.

I was impatient, mean, hateful, and what for? Why did my husband seem so far away? Not because of him, because I was pushing him away with my insecurities that I built up for myself.

When do you stop flirting? Never. Keep that going. Keep taking care of yourself. It's important for your well-being and for your family. A happy mom makes a happy home. I forgot how good it feels when you get home from a workout and you're red-faced. I sleep a lot less and get a lot more work done.

This is tough. It's hard to say, that's me. I did this. I realized all of this because I had a dream last night. It probably started where my insecurities were peaked in my life. Middle school was the scene. Actually I believe it was a reunion that had everyone from middle school but we were grown up.
So there I was spending all my energy on trying to find the friends I thought I had, when all along I never had any real friends. This is my dream, not in real life so if any of my real friends today, this isn't pertaining to you. But you know how you spend so much energy on yourself and not really developing friendships? And wondering why you aren't having a group around you? Well this was the situation.

Well the entire time my husband was playing around with his old friends. I came up to him lonely and defeated at the end of the reunion. He was happy as a lark. And there was a girl there. A beautiful girl. She asked me who I was and why was I sitting next to my husband. I said because we're married. She looked at me disgusted and said well you haven't been with him the entire night. I was so mad at her for saying that but this is true.

For my life. How many days do we spend getting ourselves in shape, picking out the perfect wedding dress, writing love notes, taking care of everything for sometimes years planning one day. Our wedding day for the one we love. Then when the marriage comes, what do we do? Does that energy go away? Just ask yourself that question.

So here I am back in my dream focused on this gorgeous girl. Jealousy sets in. I make sure and flirt with my husband. It doesnt' matter. He is already lured in my the jezebel. I know it and in a way its my fault. I still get caught up in my dream evening trying to figure out why all my friends left me sittign by myself. I was caught up in myself and in my head. Therefore I'm left alone. Makes sense to anyone watching. But not me. While I'm caught up in my head, my husband and the jezebel leave at some point. She had noticed my distraction and took him away.

I went searching for him in my dream and found them making out. Then I grabbed the jezebel and tried to enforce violence. Why does that happen? Even if that happens in real life, we never look at the guy? I guess because we understand the intentions of the woman. We look at her as she ruined our lives. But did she? Was that her fault? My husband in my dream would never do that in real life. But that is my insecurity. That is my real life fear. That someday I will push him away enough where he starts opening his mind and entertaining the thought of a loving woman who will appreciate him. Why not?

This made me very angry and very frustrated. I know its just a dream, but I'm thankful for it. It gave me the motivation I needed sadly to start back to getting back to finding me and enjoying my loving husband and family and lot more than I do. I am done whining. At least I'm going to make an attempt at it.

Cardboard Testimonies

2008-07-29T08:17:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/v/RvDDc5RB6FQ&hl=en&fs=1

We're Winning

2008-07-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

*From an AP article read earlier this evening*
In Baghdad, parks are filled every weekend with families playing and picnicking with their children. That was unthinkable only a year ago, when the first, barely visible signs of a turnaround emerged.

This is amazing! This is why we went over there I believe. To give those people a chance for a new chance at life. My little brother is over there and he tells me this stuff all the time. We never hear it in the news. So this was like a new tiny piece of grass growing in a dusty vast plain. YEAH!

Legally BLonde

2008-07-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

So i spent my evening watching youtube stuff on Legally Blonde on Broadway stuff. My old camp freind that was my penpal for years, ended up being best friends with Laura Bundy, the first Legally blonde girl to go on Broadway.

That six degrees of seperation thing really works. It's hilarious to me at times. Anyway if we all sat around and talked about who we knew, we'd end up with someone famous. That means no one is greater. We all need friends no matter where are status in life is.

It's funny that I used to deem status as important. Then I found out sooner than later, Thank my Lord, that just believing that Jesus died for me, was all I needed ..That was a real humbling experience. It sucks tho. I want to be famous.

I want to sing on Broadway. But that is past me now. You know Barlow Girl lead singer wanted to be on Broadway and her sisters and her all had different plans until they found Jesus.

Then they knew they had to sing for him. Now they are famous in our context of famous. But so humble.

This is the balance I must find. I'm young, naive, and irritated. I'm saying what some people think. Maybe just me.

Anyway that's what I spent the evening doing. It's fun. My son is sleeping and my DH is playing video games on the WII. haha.

Daycare

2008-07-25T19:15:00.000-07:00

A provide who cares during the day for our children. Ask yourself. Will this provider change a poopie diaper as soon as it happens? Or on schedule every two hours because they have five other kids to change before yours. Does your child get held when he cries, or screams? What does provide mean? What do we want our children to know. Are they too young to realize what is happening to them?

When I was on my slam forward life in college getting my degree, pursuing all my high-anxiety dreams, my now husband came along like a smack in the face. It felt like that those long nights talking over coffee in Denny's. I shed so many tears, more like layers, of my cultured life.

I was telling him in my head he was a male chauvanist pig. Where did he get off telling me I would stay at home if we were to have children. What about my career? Did it not matter who I was?

He explained if you can, wouldn't you want to share in all these new things that your little baby is doing? Wouldn't you want to be there to take care of them when they are sick. Be ok to stay up with them through the night?

So here I am. Three years later, married, with an almost 2 year old son. I'm at home with him. It's been an amazing ride. Not easy, but easy at the same time.

I was validated in my choice to stay home with him this week. I was asked to volunteer at a daycare during a major transition period. Most of the workers left including the director. Scary!
For me as a parent it would be scary if my child was attending because the caretaker my young child has known since he's been born in some cases, is gone.

So here I am a stay at home mom in a daycare. Weird.
But I loved them just like my own. I gave them hugs. I held them. You can't hold your kids enough please believe. Don't listen to the ridiculous advice that you can hold your child too much. I was actually told at one point, I needed to put a screaming child down with their blanket. Because the parent requested them not be held. Why?

I will do the job according to what I know as a parent. I will love.
Thank God I don't have to do this every day. Kudos to those providers that care for our children.
When we cannot.

Unspoken by Francine Rivers: A Book Review

2007-11-16T19:46:00.001-08:00

Yet another wonderful story out of the bible taken in her own by Francine Rivers. We are doing a bible study with the women in our church on this series and it truly has opened the eyes of many women. These books give you an insight into women of the bible that you may not have seen just by reading it on your own. In this account, a woman named Bathsheba is depicted in Unspoken. I really enjoyed this read because you see how a woman who starts a love affair before she comes of age and follows her dreams instead of what God wants for her. Its almost as if she forces what she wants and pays the consequences. But her beauty is what gets her to places. Its very ironic in many ways how this story turns. We can find ourselves in today's society very closely relating to this woman. How many times have you wanted to lure some man that was ungettable with something you shouldn't?

Unashame by Francine Rivers: A Book Review

2007-11-16T19:39:00.001-08:00

This whole series by Francine Rivers is an amazing look into the stories of the bible. It's almost like a Harlequin Novel or Veggie Tale if you're familiar for the bible. Sometimes its hard for us to find time to read the bible or we get lost in it. Well this is a refreshing way to get glimpses into certain stories. Rivers depicts the story of Rahab, a prostitute in Israel who has been taken in by the king. She has her pick of any royalties she likes. Something deep inside Rahab tells her that Jesus is the way and she clings to that. We get to see how someone who has never heard any of the stories of the bible has blind faith. That God chooses his people no matter what path you have chosen for yourself. He has faith that you will find your way to him. Amazing!

Personal Accountability

2007-11-16T19:14:00.000-08:00

I'm sick and tired of hearing our culture being such victims!! Why can't we just take responsibility for our actions. Whether it be in politics or parenting. Please people. Give me a break. In that previous post, the article finished that the parents of the young girl were getting a divorce. Also it said that they were working on something to keep people from being mean.

Basically coming up with a law that would prosecute someone who was harrassing another person online. Not the parents fault at all in this case, huh? So ANNOYING!!!

I'm a parent. A young parent mind you. So I don't have the experience of working with teens on a parental level, but I am a youth director and see this crap every day. The difference is I see what the kids tell me that they don't tell their parents. So I understand what is going through their minds. Its very simple. They want a peaceful environment. With LOVE!!!

So the next time you feel like arguing, stop. Don't do it in front of the children. They feel it. Hard!!

Anytime Eric and I begin to get frustrated about anything, I notice our baby starts crying. We stop. We made the agreement we would never argue in front of him. This is a hard thing to do but you have to!

We are so selfish anymore that we totally ignore the fact that our children come first. They do. We must make every effort to do this. Make them feel special. Show them you care with spending time with them.

I feel like being a stay at home mom is the first way I can do this in my baby's life. That was a choice Eric and I made when we were dating. So we made it happen. Its totally i our control how we want to live our lives. Not the government.

We don't wait for them to give us social security. Who cares? The system sucks anyway. We save our money. So we're ok when we grow old. Don't count on your children taking care of you or some nursing home. Save your money and research and find what you want to do with your care.

Personal Accountability people. Look it up. And start living that way today.

Whose Fault is it?

2007-11-16T19:03:00.000-08:00

Ok read this article. There is a hint in there that it might be myspace's fault for the reason for this girls death. Or at least they made an attempt to get a comment from the owner of myspace. Why? Not neccessary.

This is the story of a girl who put all her heart into an idea. A fake reality she made her life. Why did she seek condolence and love from a person she didn't even know in person? This is a serious problem in today's society. We must stop being our children's friends and start being their parents.

We have control over what they do as far as we can monitor them. I remember when I was a teen I couldn't or didn' t have internet so I went to my freinds house. I started up a relationship online with a 30 year old man when I was 15. He flattered me and told me I was smart. You know what? I enjoyed it because I didn't have a father telling me that in person. Of course my instincts kept it very open and I never told him anything personal. But what if I had?

What if I didn't have the constant love of my mother who was single with three children? She always told me she was there for me. And she showed it in her actions.

Please lets start keeping tabs on our children and not underestimate what manipulators out there can do. Don't try to put the blame on someone else. Its our fault. We stopped being parents. If a child is under the age of 14, NO MYSPACE! You can block what they do online. I'm sorry but you can!!!

If they do it at their friends house. Go online and check and see if they have one. They are naive. Tell them there are dangerous people out there. Tell them about sex and what guys want. They only want love and they will get it however its received.

READ THE ARTICLE BELOW.....

By BETSY TAYLOR, Associated Press Writer 8 minutes ago

DARDENNE PRAIRIE, Mo. - Megan Meier thought she had made a new friend in cyberspace when a cute teenage boy named Josh contacted her on MySpace and began exchanging messages with her. Megan, a 13-year-old who suffered from depression and attention deficit disorder, corresponded with Josh for more than a month before he abruptly ended their friendship, telling her he had heard she was cruel.

The next day Megan committed suicide. Her family learned later that Josh never actually existed; he was created by members of a neighborhood family that included a former friend of Megan's.

Now Megan's parents hope the people who made the fraudulent profile on the social networking Web site will be prosecuted, and they are seeking legal changes to safeguard children on the Internet.

The girl's mother, Tina Meier, said she doesn't think anyone involved intended for her daughter to kill herself.

"But when adults are involved and continue to screw with a 13-year-old, with or without mental problems, it is absolutely vile," she told the Suburban Journals of Greater St. Louis, which first reported on the case.

Tina Meier said law enforcement officials told her the case did not fit into any law. But sheriff's officials have not closed the case and pledged to consider new evidence if it emerges.

Megan Meier hanged herself in her bedroom on Oct. 16, 2006, and died the next day. She was described as a "bubbly, goofy" girl who loved hanging out with her friends, watching movies and fishing with her dad.

Megan had been on medication, but had been upbeat before her death, her mother said, after striking up a relationship on MySpace with Josh Evans about six weeks before her death.

Josh told her he was born in Florida and had recently moved to the nearby community of O'Fallon. He said he was homeschooled, and didn't yet have a phone number in the area to give her.

Megan's parents said she received a message from him on Oct. 15 of last year, essentially saying he didn't want to be her friend anymore, that he had heard she wasn't nice to her friends.

The next day, as Megan's mother headed out the door to take another daughter to the orthodontist, she knew Megan was upset about Internet messages. She asked Megan to log off. Users on MySpace must be at least 14, though Megan was not when she opened her account. A MySpace spokeswoman did not return calls seeking comment.

Someone using Josh's account was sending cruel messages. Then, Megan called her mother, saying electronic bulletins were being posted about her, saying things like, "Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat."

Megan's mother, who monitored her daughter's online communications, returned home and said she was shocked at the vulgar language her own daughter was sending. She told her daughter how upset she was about it.

Megan ran upstairs, and her father, Ron, tried to tell her everything would be fine. About 20 minutes later, she was found in her bedroom. She died the next day.

Her father said he found a message the next day from Josh, which he said law enforcement authorities have not been able to retrieve. It told the girl she was a bad person and the world would be better without her, he has said.

Another parent, who learned of the MySpace account from her own daughter who had access to the Josh profile, told Megan's parents about the hoax in a counselor's office about six weeks after Megan died. That's when they learned Josh was imaginary, they said.

The woman who created the fake profile has not been charged with a crime. She allegedly told the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department she created Josh's profile because she wanted to gain Megan's confidence to know what Megan was saying about her own child online.

The mother from down the street told police that she, her daughter and another person all typed and monitored the communication between the fictitious boy and Megan.

A person who answered the door at the family's house told an Associated Press reporter on Friday afternoon that they had been advised not to comment.

Megan's parents had been storing a foosball table for the family that created the MySpace character. Six weeks after Megan's death, they learned the other family had created the profile and responded by destroying the foosball table, dumping it on the neighbors' driveway and encouraging them to move away.

Megan's parents are now separated and plan to divorce.

Aldermen in Dardenne Prairie, a community of about 7,000 residents about 35 miles from St. Louis, have proposed a new ordinance related to child endangerment and Internet harassment. It could come before city leaders on Wednesday.

"Is this enough?" Mayor Pam Fogarty said Friday. "No, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it's something, and you have to start somewhere."

Religion

2007-11-16T17:58:00.000-08:00

People ask me all the time what I think of homosexuality. Is it wrong? Do I hate them? Are they going to hell? All of these comments are made in popular culture. The news portrays people who believe in God and go to church as hypocritical judgemental cruel people. So of course when I say I am a Christian, sometimes I get the cold shoulder. This is ok. I understand we all have pre-judgements in our lives.

My hope here today is to show you what I believe and at least you know one person is like this. In my life, I go to church for the encouragement and love and support I get from it. When I go to my church, I am greeted by elders, my pastor, my co-workers, and our youth. I am a youth leader at my church. It was always that way.

My church gives me a sense of community. If ever my family is struggling and can't pay our bills or if we just need dinners for a week when I had my c-section and couldn't move, the church came through. Where we lack, the church gives.

I get bored being home with the baby so I go to the church and organize and make up lessons for the weekend. We started a praise band and come up with new songs every day.

A few months ago we got a couple that came to our church seeking love. This couple was different from your average people that come into the doors there because they were lesbians. Also they were the new mothers of triplets! We were really excited and confused and unsure. We meaning my husband and I. We weren't sure how they would be received and what our church was going to do. Well so I went up to my pastor because he's like my friend and asked him what he thought about them. He said specifically, "Liz, I'm not the sex police. I don't go into your bedroom and make sure you are doing it right."
They want to know God's love, they are going to get it. Just like you and everyone else that walks through these doors.

It doesn't matter if I believe it is right or wrong. It matters that I believe Jesus died for my sins.
I accept him as my savior. It's not my place to try to figure out what I believe about that.
They are my friends and I love them and I cannot believe what I would have missed had I our church sent them away with judgement. My mom said that's even worse.

See that is the point of Christians today. We are meant to work on ourselves and only ourselves. We are called from there and once you have the Holy Spirit truly working in your heart and soul, things will happen from there and it will all make a lot more sense. It's not up to us to make sure someone else is living right. We must leave that to our Father above. People today are afraid to let go of themselves. They want to be in control of their lives. Guess what? You don't have to.

I love our church because every day I grow as a person. I am held accountable. I had a problem with gossiping and still slip back into it at times and I asked God to help me. Well anytime I would begin to talk about anyone in particular they would walk right up behind me. I wasn't able to get started. Now I learned before I even begin to make any kind of assumption or judgement in my mind, I just start praying for that person. That way I'm absolved of any sinful thought I was just about to have. Its really an amazing trick.

What I meant by the Holy Spirit working on you is that suddenly you start to see God's plan appear for you. What he wants you to do while you are here on earth. For me it is witnessing to people, and also being a prayer warrior. Sometimes with my free time, I'm able to help out different people in the church. We don't have a lot of money right now so all I can do is service.

Medicated

2007-11-15T19:22:00.000-08:00

Isn't it weird how much we all seem to be on medicine? Do we need it? Want it? Don't know how to live without it? Are all of us constantly on some kind of medicine? What is your medicine?
Street drugs
Antidepressants
Qualudes
Alcohol
Fresh Air
Music
Love
Hate
Fast Cars
Shopping
All these are things we use to fill those empty parts that we have gaping. I've tried all of these and still the closest thing I get to being content is praying to God. He is my medicine. Does that sound like a cop out to you? Well it isn't. I really think our society is talked into believing we can't do it for ourselves. I read and have been around friends who constantly struggle with different doctors, different prescriptions that leave side effects. Some they cope with. Are we afraid to just try to live on our own?

I think for some people they are. For me, I had my baby and what you call post-partum depression snuck on me. It was a feeling of suffocation and constant sadness. Deep falling sadness.

My family kept telling me to see a doctor but all that stuff I just wrote up there was saying I didn't need it and not to fall into the trap. So I went to the doctor so they would all shut up and leave me alone and the first thing he asked me was how I felt. I described feeling anxious, not wanting to leave the house, suffocation, not being able to breathe. The basic symptoms of anything that needs medicine to fix it right?

He suggested I take Effexor XR. That is an antidepressant used to treat social anxiety disorder. Among others. Its also extended release so its going to give me a little burst of happy throughout my day. I went ahead and took my complementary candy happy pills and walked away. I figured with the baby with me, I'd better take a drive to my mother's home.

I popped a pill and a few hours later I was staring at the pretty green trees. Yes they were so beautiful. How simple life is. How fragrant and wonderful. I'm not in pain. I don't have an ailment. I can walk. I can breath on my own. I have my own baby that I made with love with my incredible husband who treats me like a queen. Suddenly it all made sense. Now my life was perfect. It really was. I am an amazing strong independent wonderful person. Incredible.

With my new confidence, I was a little embarrassed. I had dismissed my previous feelings of dismay to just some PMS and misguided hormones. The medicine was helping me get to the place I needed to be. Not completely negative. I was eeyore walking around hopeless. Now I can enjoy my baby and not being yelling for no reason at my husband who doesn't deserve it.

I was also mad at myself for telling my depressed friend in college that she didn't need medicine. We could work through her dad's death and her feelings of sadness by talking. Maybe sometimes medicine works. Maybe sometimes it doesn't. Maybe there isn't always an excuse for your behavior and you need to hold yourself accountable for it. At least thats' what I decided to do.

So after four months on the medicine I decided to get off of it. The doctor suggested that amount of time for my hormones to regulate back.

It was very hard to get off the medicine. I felt really loopy and that my brain had lightning flashes. Very weird. Also I got some nausea and was just irritated a lot. But after about a week of that, I was myself again. I felt like myself before I was pregnant. It was really refreshing. Like I woke up from a dream.

It's been about five months since I've been off the medicine and once in awhile I'll have a couple drinks. But that's about it as far as medicine goes. I did start feeling that anxiety again the other day. When I get like that I'm usually by myself and kind of go into this zone that no one would like me in so I don't call anyone. That should be what I do, but I don't. I rationalize why no one would want to hear me complain. Its so silly.

Now that I have some sense of purpose in my life again with this writing, I feel much better. I have something to do that I love. I have a passion for telling a story, explaining myself in words.

I urge you if you are like this or any of this sounds familiar to write a list of things you love. Then start doing them. It will make you feel better. I'm at home most of the time with the baby. I play and read with him of course. I just needed something that was my own. And this helps.

When A Baby Cries

2007-11-15T18:42:00.000-08:00

It can be really tough when you put your baby to bed and they cry. All a mom wants to do is snuggle and hold him until he falls into a deep slumber. I realized early on that holding him just made him stay awake longer. It was worse if he woke up and I went in to pick him up. All your instincts say go get him. You sweat almost to go pick him up. I really enjoyed when he was a baby just a few months old and he would wake in the middle of the night and I had a reason to nurse him.
Now if he wakes up and I go get him I just make an event of the evening. We snuggle on the couch, he laughs at me, he tries to wriggle to go play with his toys. I take him up to his bed and it starts all over. Until I realize I need to let him fall asleep on his own. It's tough. When my husband is here, it's much easier. He tells me to let him fall asleep. He holds me back. Hah. I know its for the best.

The Simple Things: A Poem

2007-11-15T16:24:00.001-08:00

A bird cracking into a peanut
The sound of soothing melodic tunes drifting in and out of my background
Incense stinging my nose with tranquil breezes

Taking a deep breath, my muscles are starting to let go.
Paint on my fingernails dries
Thoughts of the work week ahead start to interfere
Pushing them out, I notice darkness approaching around me.

A snore lets me know my husband is still alive
Soft hums radiate from my computer
There is no other place I'd rather be.

How nice to just sit and coax in nothingness
Your mind meshing into the keystrokes
Legs crossed I demand nothing less than silence.

The bird is quiet save the crackling of the peanuts.
Thank goodness for peanuts.

To My Baby Boy: A Poem

2007-11-15T16:23:00.001-08:00

You started out as an idea, a thought, a spark in my imagination.
I went on with my daily routine pushing you aside.
One day I had a feeling you made yourself known.
Two pink lines gave you away.
Then another two just to make sure.
To finalize your existence another two.
After six lines, there was no escaping you.

You were happening
Inside each day you grew from a peanut to what you are at this very
moment.

I¹m not sure what you¹ll be like.
It seems you are pretty calm, reserved
Until you kick but then you still are methodic and rhythmic
Are you going to be stubborn like I am?

From your first pictures, you look like your Dad.
He says there is no way to tell but I know.

When you come to us we will love and cherish you.
Dad sings to you now and you seem to like it.

Thanks for not being too hard on me through your growing time.
I love you already.

Summer to Fall: A Poem

2007-11-15T16:22:00.002-08:00

The wind blows in crisp, confident, clean
Carrying with it burning leaves, twigs, and the crunch of fall.

An apple cinnamon candle elates my senses
reminding me of running into huge piles of leaves.
They close in around me

We go get hot cider with red hots in it to warm us up.
The candies tingle my taste buds.

Through the corn maize we lose ourselves.
Stalks higher than the heavens loom as they sway in the breeze.

I pull my jacket higher up on the nape of my neck and feel my nose begin to run.
I don't mind it replacing the hot summer sun.

Under the stars we curl up in the hay bales.
The bumps along the trail send us deeper into our cushiony straw.

At the campfire we warm our reddened fingers.
My marshmallow burns off the stick.

Erasing my agression into the knife as it plunges into the head of the pumpkin.
Scraping out the seeds, I grow weary anticipating the face.

I pop out the eyes, and the juicy mouth begins to form a frown
mirroring my little brother's sharp grimace.

An ice pack goes onto his little head as he overcalculated the jump across the ditch to the pee tree.

I'm so glad its fall.

Hope

2007-11-15T16:22:00.001-08:00

For the Ones I love

I'm reading this great book by Joyce Meyer right now and wanted to share some scripture and important points in it for you because I think it will help you very much as it has me.It's called Straight Talk. Thanks Brenda!

First if you are suffering right now going through consistent pain or grief remember 1 Samuel 17:37 where the Lord delivers David. Satan intends to make us feel alone and discourage us when we are doing his work. In Daniel 3:10-30 three men were put in a furnace because they refused to worship a golden statue of the king, they were freed from the furnace with no harm. When they were taken out not even smelling of smoke, the king promoted them. We learn that God will not only bring you out of your afflictions, but He will also bring you up!

The other thing is to remember we have to be good to ourselves. God will refresh our spirits anytime we feel weary or tired. See Matthew 11:28 Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. I will ease and refresh your souls.

If you are overwhelmed by too many commitments, the Lord calls us to listen to his prompting to be still and specifically in Matthew 5:37 he says Let your Yes be simply Yes, and your No be simply No; anything more than that comes from the evil one.